Here I am again. Back on the curb, clutching the vodka, tears streaming down my face. I know he's looking for me.
I know Carl's probably searching the entire town, just to find me.
He couldn't take it if he finds out I'll tell someone.
I try to clear my mind, I try not to think, I try to drift away and not let my problems get the best of me. That's when I don't feel anything at all, it's like my mind is floating in an empty space.
I feel calmer and safe, but dizzy and nauseous. I tug on the ends of my hair, and I wipe my mouth cooly.
I try to stand, but my balance is wobbly and I can feel myself tumbling as I try to walk along the curb.
I don't know what I'm doing, I don't even care.
After a few minutes, It's like I'm walking through the town. I walk by the DX, I walk pass the old movie theater, I walk through the lot...Johnny's old place.
He used to hang out there. I noticed the lot is more vacant than it was before. The lot feels cold and dead. It wouldn't be if Johnny was still there...laying on his back watching the stars. The lot is incomplete without that dark haired boy, who couldn't hurt a fly...that dark haired boy with big black eyes, and a glare in his eyes that seemed scared of everything. Damn, I miss Johnny cake.
I look around and I am shocked to my amusement, to see I am in the Curtis's backyard.
I'm not using my head when I tap on the window.
I lick my lips and I tap even more, practically knocking on his window.
I jump a little when I hear the window open. Pony pokes his head out. His shaggy blonde hair, and his charming green or grey eyes are looking down at me in confusion, and all I can think about, is kissing his lips.
“Ginger?” He says in this sleepy voice.
“Hey Ponyboy!” I say, feeling myself stumble a little.
“What are you doing here?” He rubs his eye.
“I just wanna see you…” I can see Pony's eyes look at me, and then at the vodka in my hand.
“You okay Ginger? Here…”
He pulls out his hand and is waiting for me to grab it. “Climb in…”
I grab his hand tightly and he pulls me in quickly. I hop into the room and suddenly feel blinded by the light.
“Are you okay?”
I remove my hand from my eyes and look to see Pony staring at me.
I don't know what to say to him. I know I'm not fine, he knows it, he just wants me to admit it.
I run my fingers through my light brown hair, as I stare at the ground.
“Listen Ponyboy...I just came to see you...a-are you okay?”
His sensitive eyes turn painful, he's looking at me like he wants to hurt me, I can't take that from Ponyboy, I think.
“Are you drunk?”
He asks. “What? No, I'm not…” I say knowing he knows I'm drunk.
“Listen...I haven't seen you in weeks...I'm sorry.”
His eyes are still on me and I can feel him getting upset.
“Yeah, why is that? Why haven't you talked to me in so long, Ginger?”
