Remembering Shauqina

Chapter 7: PSLE and Separation

CHAPTER 7: PSLE and Separation

 "How's your results?"

 I was beaming from ear to ear - who wouldn't? My scores were sufficiently high enough for me to get into my first choice school choice - Tanjong Katong Girls' School, THE premier all-girl's school in the east. More than anything, its hockey team is one most feared and respected. I was in cloud nine. But my smile somewhat waned when I saw Zak's face.

 "Don't tell me you failed?!!!"

         I almost shouted, fearful of Zak's expression. He has slowly evolved to be my rival of sorts. When I managed to score higher for English, his Maths marks put mine to shame. Big shame. Even in sports, we were rivals – in our own different way. When I was made the school’s Hockey Captain, he won the Best Player award in the Inter-school Basketball Tournament.  He slowly shook his head. Then, there was our height. I used to tower over him and that delighted me to no end. But of late, I noticed that he was experiencing some growth spurts but, I still could hold his face back comfortably enough. Zak’s somewhat softer than normal voice broke my sniggering.

 "I got into my first choice school ..."

 “Wow!!! Congrats!!! So did I! Bet mine - But – Why-"

 "I'm going back to Trengganu..."

 "What??? Why???"

 "My father...he lost his job...we have to go back...my grandmother is also not well..."

 I caught a breath and suddenly felt very small.  There was a lump in my throat, and my eyes felt sandy. I realized, a little bit panicking that I was trying very hard not to cry.

 "I am sorry...don’t you have any relatives here that you can stay with?’ I asked. He shook his head.

 “My mother won’t ever let me…besides, I am the eldest and she needs me around to – to – be of help.” He swallowed.

 What did he mean by that? Why would his mother need his help? To help clean the house? Couldn’t she hire a maid for that? Why did he look fearful and angry all at the same time?

 Questions notwithstanding, I was on the roll and I fired on.

 “Family’s friends?” He shook his head again.

 You could stay with me – Yikes! Why did that thought crossed my mind??? Evil!!!

 “I..will miss ...your smile..." was all I could managed to vocalize.  I know I sounded foolish, but it was very close to the truth.

 Zak looked at me, quizzically, then looked away. He could not even give me a lopsided smile. lt must have been one of the saddest moment of our lives.

 "Zakaria!! There you are - "

 Both young heads turned, and I saw his mother coming over to us. She stroked his head, with tenderness only mothers would have, then looked at me, almost apologetically.

 "Thank you for everything....he always talk about you with such fondness and familiarity, I almost thought you were a boy!! Thank you for being his closest friend.."

 Oh! Really? Me? His closest friend? This guy must be nuts!!! Maybe the air in Trengganu will knock some senses into that head of his!! I saw his face went livid and I know I will miss that face, that smile, that stubborn curl across his brow. That thought fizzled out my exasperation.

 "All the best, Zak.. Keep in touch?" Like what’s your address – give it to me – now….

 All Zak could do was to nod his head and without turning, walked slowly away with his mum by his side.

 At that point, I remembered thinking why the bright day had turned slightly darker and I was not feeling the warmness of the sun as I used to feel. At that moment, Tanjong Katong Girls' School did not seem like the place I want to go to anymore.