I stand in the edge of the cliff, the wind whipping my hair around my face, chilling me to the bone. Everything happening... it's too much... The sun is slowly sinking below the horizon, setting the stone and water below ablaze with an orange glow.
Going surrounded by beauty...
When I close my eyes, I can hear my voices growing quieter and quieter. While they tore me apart, it comforted me that I wasn't always alone. I had my voices. My eyes fly open when I hear something. A pebble bouncing down the cliff. The scrape of what sounds like claws. I'm not alone here.
As I look around at my surroundings, I can't feel anything but coldness. The orange and pink and purple and red of the sunset should strike wonder in me. The way the light is dancing on the rocks, giving it the look that it's on fire should amaze me. But I feel cold. Hopeless. Broken.
With one final breath, I look up at the clouds. Forgive me... I jump off the edge of the cliff, body falling faster and faster. I hit the water with a bone jarring splash, and begin to sink. The water isn't very deep, but it's deep enough that I can't stand. The bottom is lined with sharp and jagged rocks, and I clutch on to one, not allowing myself up to breathe.
I watch as fish swim by me, and one sea turtle. As my breath runs out, my vision grows dark. Suddenly my head erupts in noise, and I close my eyes, clutching my head with one hand and the rock with another.
Let it go.
You can't die.
We'll die too.
One voice is louder than the rest, and I hold on to that.
I understand... don't fight it anymore... let it go... be free. They will grieve, but soon it will pass. You will hurt him. But he too will recover. One day, you will see them. Let it go...
I open my eyes again, and look up. The surface is so far, but I can see the outline of people on the cliff. An explosion of bubbles. I see a figure swimming down towards me. The last sound I heard was a scream as my limp body breaks the surface of the water. They will grieve. But it will pass... let it go now... be free.
I let it go. And finally, after so many years, I feel at peace. No pain. No sadness. No brokenness. Just peace...
