Destiny - a Merthur fic

Chapter IV

Merlin's POV

We had been riding for a couple of hours now. Gwen had shooed me out of the way to ride beside Arthur. I felt something bubbling up inside me. Jealousy. I was jealous of Gwen.
I shook my head. How ridiculous.
But it was true. I'd been having these thoughts, these feelings, these urges, for a while now. There was no point in denying it.
But I knew that Arthur loved Gwen. So it was stupid of me to be feeling this way, and most of the time I just suppressed it.
"Merlin?" It was Gwaine. "You alright? You look kind of sad."
I scoffed. "I'm a man," I joked. "We don't feel sad." If only that was true.
He laughed.
It was getting dim. Arthur looked around. "We should make camp for the night."
"But, sire -" Leon objected, "if we're to get to Camlaan in time, we must keep going."
Arthur pursed his lips. I rode up to him. "We should make camp, sire. We need to be well-rested for the battle." It felt terrible to lie to him, though I did it every day. I didn't like it, and I wished I didn't have to.
I wasn't quite sure yet how I was going to get him out of harms way, but I was forming a plan in my head.
He nodded. "We'll make camp, but we're leaving at first light."
All the knights got off their horses and started setting up. Arthur jumped down and helped Gwen off of her horse. I realized I was staring at them, and it would seem they had realized too.
"What, Merlin, do you need help getting off of your horse too?" Gwen said teasingly. I snorted and slid off.
I helped set up and I scrounged up a small dinner for the knights, and there was none left for me.
Arthur came and sat beside me with his bowl of soup. "You didn't get any?"
I shook my head.
He held out his spoon. "Here. Have some." He fed it straight into my mouth.
This is unlike anything Arthur would usually do. He would usually tease me about not having food, and then make a point about eating all of his in front of me. But this... This was different. But it was a good different.
He fed me a few more spoonfuls, and then ate the rest himself. "Can't have you eating all my food now, Merlin."
"Hey. You offered."
He laughed and touched me on the back. "I'm just teasing, Merlin." His hand lingered there, and then he got up and walked away.
I could still feel where he had touched my back. It was tingling, and not with magic.
I now had a ton of plates, bowls, and cutlery to wash. Without magic, this was extremely difficult, but I did it.
We were all settling down to sleep. I was half asleep when I heard it.
"Merlin!"
I knew it was for me and only me. It was inside my head, and I could recognize that voice easily.
It was Kilgarra.