Kabanata 6
"Will you be okay?"
Rod smiled. Tumango siya't tumingin sa aming dalawa ni Vara. I knew how painful it was to lose someone precious in your life. Kung ako rin ang nasa posisyon ni Rod, I don't think I could handle it. My family means everything to me. Mawala man ang isa sa kanila, palagay ko, matagal bago ako makakabangon muli. And I admire him for that. That's why hindi ako nawala sa tabi niya sa mga panahong nakaburol si Tita hanggang sa mailibing. I also helped him do with his modules dahil ilang linggo rin siyang narito at nahuhuli na sa klase. Mabuti na nga lang at very considerate ang school niya. Pero siguro dahil na rin sa koneksyon ng pamilya kaya rin siya pinayagan.
"I will. Thank you so much, Kali, Vara." Sinserong aniya. "I'll come back again once the semester ended."
"Yes, sure. We're just here, waiting for your treats." Biro ni Vara kaya natawa siya, maging ako.
Hinarap ako ni Rod. Inabot ang kamay ko't pinisil-pisil.
"I'm sorry." He said in full concern.
My brows furrow. "Sorry? For what?" Nagtatakang tanong ko. Nagbuntong hininga naman si Vara.
"I don't like the idea of you seeing him." Mariing sabi ni Rod, naninimbang ang mga tingin.
"Right, pagsabihan mo 'yan bago ka umalis. She's really falling inlove with that man!"
"It's not true, Vara!" Saway ko pero mas pinanlisikan pa niya ako ng mata.
"Sige, i-deny mo pa. Masasabunutan na talaga kita." she threatened, glaring at me.
I shake my head and roll my eyes. I knew I couldn't win against her. She knew me too well, no matter how much I tried to deny it. And she wasn't wrong, either. I just couldn't bring myself to admit it to them, or even to myself.
"Avoid him," Rod interjected. "I know you, Kali. I can tell when something's bothering you, even if you don't say anything. You've been acting strange these past few weeks. Stop seeing him before it's too late for you."
I blew a deep breath and just nodded. Wala na rin namang kwenta ang sinasabi nila because in many weeks that passed, Kleo and I haven't had any contact. I went to school, attended photoshoots, yet he treated me like I was invisible. There were also times when our eyes suddenly meets, and he would quickly look away. His gaze cold and dismissive, as if I were something repulsive.
Hindi ko naman gusto ang kumprontahin siya. I had no right to, no reason to start anything. I didn't even know what I'd say if I did approach him. Ayoko ring magmukhang parang naghahabol sa kanya. Like some desperate girl who couldn't move on. No, I would never do something so stupid.
But the fact that there's rumors about him getting drunk everynight, I couldn't help but feel uneasy, worried, and sad. Alam ng lahat that he preferred extreme sports activities than clubbing. Masyadong nagulat ang mga tao sa kanya. Kahit ako rin naman.
Guilt was eating me alive. I didn't know if it was my fault in the first place that things had turned out this way between us. I was also having trouble in sleeping because everything kept replaying in my mind. There were even times I cried over it because the pain was too much to bear.
In the blink of an eye, he was gone from my life. I know I should be fine without him. Wala ng bwisit. Hindi na ako maiinis. Tahimik na ulit ang buhay. Bumalik na ulit sa dati. I should be better without him. Wala dapat akong pakialam sa buhay niya. At sa mga bagay na ginagawa niya!
But everything had turned upside down. I cared. I felt for him. I missed him that I couldn't even understand what my heart was trying to tell me. And those were the things I didn't want to admit in myself.
BINABASA MO ANG
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