Raised by Ronnie.

"I have loved you so much it hurts me, dear."

†Ronnie†

I waited until I knew he was asleep, before talking to him, stroking his hair as I did.

"Max Green and I were dating for a while, but never told anyone, not even the people in the band. We'd have sex a lot, but there was no meaning. He didn't quite do it right, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do him right, but we settled. When we got big, and I got my girlfriend, Max was really jealous. I told him that I wasn't dumping him, but that this girl meant a lot to me. I tried to sort out our relationship, but he wouldn't let me, so I just left him. We carried on being friends though, and soon, things were almost back to normal except for the fact we weren't 'together' anymore. We did drugs, alcohol, everything together, and we were nearly always stoned when we were together. After a while, I woke up and the first thing I thought of  wasn't "I need to play more music" or "What's Max up to today?" or even "I should call my girlfriend", it was "shit, where's my next fix coming from?" Max told me he wanted to stop, but I kept persuading him to carry on. When he went out with that girl (and I feel like an asshole for not remembering her name), I got a bit jealous myself. Me and my girlfriend had broken up a long while before, and I wanted him back, but he wouldn't take me. So instead, I seduced his girlfriend and made her fall in love with me. She left him for me, and I paraded her around a bit before leaving her. I never loved her. I loved Max, but he didn't want me. When I was put on parole, he outed me to the cops about my drug abuse, and the fact that I left the state. That's how they found me." 

I paused for a minute to kiss his forehead and carried on. 

"Prison was okay. I had a billion fan letters every day, but none ever came from Max to tell me how he was getting on. I wrote him so many times and he never replied. So, that's when I created Falling in Reverse. I wrote all the songs, all the lyrics, everything. You were the first one that came to mind for my drummer, and I was stoked when you said yes. The rest of the band sort of fell together. I'm sorry if I've got shit mixed up a little bit. I don't remember too much from back then."

"I guess now, for the sake of my point, we should skip to when I started going out with Sally. It was so great. I really thought she was the one. But you know, she completely fucked me over, so I guess not." I bit my lip. 

"And then, well, we broke up just before our tour, so I guess you know the rest." I shrugged. 

"You make me so happy, Ryan. You always have, but especally recently. I don't need anything if i have you. I'm sorry I hurt you, but I never will again. I will never let anyone hurt you. I will protect you and hold you and wipe your tears. I'll make you smile whenever I can because you have the most perfect smile. I'd do anything if you asked, Ryan, I promise. Anything in the world. I'd steal the moon and all the stars for you." Tears were flowing freely from my eyes and splattering onto his face. 

"Because I love you, Ryan." I choked before I was taken over my sobs. I couldn't do anything except hold my baby and kiss him. I'd told him I loved him loads of times before, but this time was different. This time I was in love with him. I took a moment to calm myself and wipe my tears. 

"I hope you can forgive me for everything, but if you can't I'll understand and I'll always...I'll always love you." I said before leaning back and closing my eyes, tears still flowing. I was about to drift off to sleep when I felt Ryan move. 

"Ry?" I asked, peeking down. He was crying. "Oh, Ryan, are you okay?" I asked, worried I'd upset him. He nodded and pressed a hand over his mouth to stifle the sound of his sobs. 

"Ryan, talk to me." I said desperately. He looked up into my eyes. 

"Ronnie...I...I love you too." he said before curling into my chest and sobbing. I couldn't help but grin. I wanted to scream and dance and laugh and sing. After a moment, he sat up and looked me in the eye. He put his hands on my shoulders. 

"Ronald Joseph Radke, I love you." he breathed. I bit my lip. 

"Ryan Seaman, I love you too." I replied. We grinned at each other for a moment, both of us still crying. We sat up and cried for hours until we finally fell asleep in each others arms.