R(WBY)ed vs Blue: All's Fair In Love And War

Chapter 10: Long Live The King

Crash Site Bravo
Blue Base

Washington: Look, as long as I'm leader of this team, I will do everything in my power to ensure your safety whether you like it or not.

Tucker: We don't need you protecting us!

Washington: I know! That's why I'm trying to help you!

Tucker: Help us with what? Defending against attack? No one is going to attack us!

Sarge: Attack!

Grif and Sarge drive their Warthog over a hill directly into a boulder. After a while, Blue Team stops aiming their guns at Red Team.

Tucker: ...You have literally the worst timing.

Sarge: Stow it, thin mint! We're no longer fraternizing with the enemy!

Tucker: Thin mint?

(L/N): Enemy? Who's the enemy?

Sarge: Don't act like you don't know, Blue! Red Team knows what you've been planning all along, and we plan to stop it!

(L/N): What?

Weiss: Wait, "we"? Sarge, you mean to tell me that you and Grif are actually cooperating for once?

Grif: Okay, now see, when he says "we", imagine he's only referring to himself. Do not group us together.

Tucker: Bitch, my armor's aqua! I think.

Washington: What the hell are you two doing?

Grif: Uh, again, not two, just him. I can't stress this enough.

Sarge: You made me believe that Reds and Blues could co-exist! That we could work together as one people! and that we can all get together, and be a little... purple!

Washington: We can! We are! Seriously, what the fuck is this about?

Sarge: You kidnapped one of my men!

Everyone turns to Simmons.

Simmons: Who? Me?

Blake: Sarge, he wasn't kidnapped, he came over here to Blue Base by himself, willingly.

Tucker: Yeah, we can't get him to leave!

Sarge turns to Simmons.

Sarge: ...Is this true, Simmons?

Simmons: It's not your fault, sir. It's Grif's!

Grif: What did I do?

Simmons: You're fucking disgusting, Grif!

Grif: Well, yeah. But I've always been like that. Sarge was the one that decided to take half the base for himself.

Simmons: Oh. Then I guess it is your fault, sir.

Sarge gets on the Warthog's machine gun.

Sarge: Then that makes you a traitor!

Simmons: What?

Freckles: Threat level increased.

Weiss: Um, actually, we don't need to panic. Nobody wants to see a fight right now. Everything's fine.

Weiss turns to Caboose.

Weiss: Caboose, can't you calm down Freckles?!

Caboose: Do you have a rolled up newspaper at the ready? That could be really, really helpful for dogs.