I Choose You

33. I Choose You (Edited)

Edited 

The cold was indescribable, but it was enough to numb the pain for a few moments. The pain of everything that had just happened and that was going to happen.

As I stood out in the parking lot, the only sound that could be heard was my echoing sobs in the vast darkness. Cold prickles of what seemed to be snow begin to fall and sobs only grew louder. The only thing I could do was grab my mouth with both hands as it all came out. Who would've thought that after everything, this was what it was going to come to? That I was going to have to choose. Choose between two of the people I cared for the most in this world.

There was no safe decision. No right or wrong. No matter what I did someone was going to get hurt. Someone's heart would be broken, shattered beyond repair.

And it was going to be all my fault.

"Jesus, Em—!"

The sound of the gym doors slamming open brought me out of my thoughts, and once again... there he was. My knight in shining armor, coming to my rescue once again. He frantically pulled off his suit coat and draped it around my shoulders as I looked at him, the tears falling silently from my cheeks.

He reached his hand out to wipe my tears, but I stepped back.

"No!" I sobbed. "Please don't!"

Aiden shut his eyes. He shut his eyes as I continued to cry.

There was silence for a moment.

"He told you he loved you ... didn't he?" he whispered.

I looked up into his eyes, confused.

"H-H-How—?" I whispered.

"Because I know you Em. Better than you think. I know how in love with him you were. Feelings like that...they don't just go away."

I looked at him, before he raised his head to look at me. I watched as he stared into my eyes with his captivating, soul-touching brown eyes. His eyebrows furrowed as he shoved his hands into his pockets and stalked forward, leaving only a small distance between us.

"But goddamn it!" he whispered, pulling his hands out of his pockets and cradling my face in his hands. "I can't convince myself to let you go ... because—!"

Oh god.

"—because I love you!"

And that was all it took. That was all it took for me to burst into tears again.

"God, I love you so fucking much!" he whispered placing his forehead against mine as I grabbed his wrist and squeezed my eyes shut, sobbing. "And I need you to know that, because he doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve you and he never has. He's never treated you the way you deserve to be treated or loved you the way you deserve to be loved! And maybe I don't deserve you either. Maybe I haven't done that either. But I need you to know—I need you to know that if you let me—I'll spend my whole life making it up to you." he whispered.

"Aiden!" I sobbed, the tears flowing out of my eyes like a never-ending stream of emotions. "I don't know if I can do this—!"

There was a determination behind his eyes I'd never seen before. Like he knew what I was going to do, even before I did. "Don't think about how I'm going to feel if you choose him—and don't think about how he's going to feel if you choose me. Think about what you're going to feel, Em. Stop thinking about me, or him, or anyone else. Think about you. Think about what you want—"

He exhaled quietly.

"And if it's him," Aiden breathed, the pain etched across his handsome features as I looked into his eyes, "then I'll let you go...because I love you."

If there had been a moment in my life when my heart physically broke I would say that it was now. I could feel the flood of emotions stabbing into my heart like a pierced blade and cracking it open in two. The pain I felt was unimaginable. Everything felt so numb. My body, the world, everything. And as Aiden leaned forward, placing a small kiss on my forehead I felt as if he was silently saying goodbye. As if he knew that I was going to choose Evan. That I was going to choose the boy I'd been in love with my entire life.

But...

He couldn't have been more wrong.

As Aiden turned to leave ... as he began to walk away, everything suddenly became so clear.

Love isn't about being able to forgive someone for all the pain they've caused you and love them despite it. Love is putting that other person before yourself. Love is putting their happiness above your own, regardless of what that means for you. Love is holding them when they cry, sticking with them through the ups and downs, but most importantly love is in your actions, not just in your words.

And so, as I stood there, watching Aiden's retreating figure ...

I had my answer.

"Aiden!" I cried as he stopped.

His back was turned to me, but I didn't let that stop me.

"It's you!" and I couldn't help the choking sound I made when I spoke.

"I choose you."

And no sooner than I had said the words did he turn around and say, "I was hoping you'd say that," before smashing his lips against mine in one of the most heart—throbbing kisses I had ever felt. The raw emotion behind this kiss was so real, so genuine, that I knew I'd made the right decision. I knew that this boy was going to love and cherish me until the end of time, no matter what stood in his way, because that's who he is.

He's my knight in shining armor, my guardian angel.

My other half.

And at last, when the kiss became too much for the both of us, when the need for air forced us to break apart, I smiled.

"I love you too," I whispered.

____________________________________________________________________________

I'm crying, you all. I can't even describe how I'm feeling right now. 

There's only one chapter left. 

One. 

I can't. 

Be right back, while I go and sob for hours. 

- Katy