The Wolf Who Cried Gold | Foah

black wolf.

Finn

When I was in kindergarten, every day my teacher asked the kids to draw something that would make us happy. I'm not sure why she asked for such things, but I always agreed, and every time I touched my finger on a crayon, I felt like crying. Not by emotion or for that being my favourite activity - it wasn't, but because I couldn't think of anything good. 

While the other kids drew pictures like the sun, clouds, a smiling family, toys, instruments, my paper was blank. There was always a dark circle in the middle of the paper, well calculated to be there, and only that. It was my definition of happiness, a blank paper and a black circle in its midst. 

I didn't understand very well why I drew it, and I honestly would rather have never found out. My teacher always complained about my work without effort, which actually made my head ache from so much thinking, because I sought so many memories in my head. The truth is, happiness didn't make sense, just like that circle in the middle of the pale paper. 

Until one day I started drawing more than the circle. In a few days I drew animals, trees, and I even learned to draw a guitar, which was simpler. However, those doodles were nothing but a lie to keep that woman away from me, a lie because I hated to hear her boring advices.

My chest hurt every time I saw a shiny smile on that woman's face. She, the one who always advised me to have good things, was satisfied with my lie. Humans are curious beings, and yet so dumb. But I appreciate what the teacher did. I thank her for making my heart ache, she wouldn't break for seeing a lie like that in front of her, so I learned a valuable lesson that helped me to grow up.

However, no matter how much pain you feel at a certain moment of your life, it will always look worse when someone starts crying on your lap. And the fear of not knowing what to do overflows in hot blood through your veins, nervousness makes you sweat. 

I could feel the wet cheeks touching my left shoulder, the red face moving in panic from one side to another. Trembling hands tightened the sleeves of my coat, seeking for a refuge or just a friend to endure that moment. The loss is the worst pain any living animal can feel.

I slowly passed my fingers through his hair, bringing the boy closer and leaning my cheek into his head. We were sitting on the floor of the room, away from the bloody body that was in the kitchen. I could hear Noah crying, sobbing in agony and, honestly, I didn't blame him. 

"It's ok..." I said in a low tone, trying to calm him down and, sadly, failing.

"It's not. It's not... Never will be ok..." He said through the heavy tears and the loud cry. I'm so bad at it. "She did nothing wrong, but... What happened here?"

Man, I wish I could take all the pain that he was feeling and start transferring it to my body, so he could just smile lightly again, and laugh, and even give me those sarcastic jokes.

"I... Don't know." My voice was cracking and, somehow, I also wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because he was feeling so bad for something that was my fault, she died and it was my fault, I know it. And now, Noah have to take his all life in pain. Blaming himself for not being there.

"So why are you still here?" Noah whispered, slowly moving his head. His chin rested on my chest, but all I could see was his eyes. Such beautiful greenish eyes, now filled with violent tears, agony and pain in a red tone.

"That's what friends do..."

"I said it before, we're not friends." And started to cry again. He was right, we just met, but... I was so amazed. He was the first human in ages that wasn't disgusted by me.

"We are. And even if we wasn't, I would never let you here." And in such a situation, it would be the hardest thing to do.

"You're... Idiot." Noah whispered again, but started to sob another time. His voice was so low and slowly calming down, but I knew that it wasn't what he was already feeling.

"I know. I'm idiot, pathetic and a loser." I said trying to smile, at the same time trying to make him feel better. I couldn't see any smile.

"Good, you know." The boy whispered another time, slowly moving his head down, resting his cheek on my chest.

I wonder if he could hear it since my heart start to beat so fast. Not only by the full situation, but also the feeling of having someone so close. I never had someone this close before, so sad that the circumstance is awful.

"We need to call the police." Noah's voice cracked again while he was speaking. But I cutted him of.

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"This situation isn't part of their job, trust me." I breathe deeply, it was time. "Noah... My life is completely different of you-"

"Wait." He said looking around. I deep breathed again, this guy, oh my-

"... As I was sayin-"

"Shut up." Noah literally jumped from my lap, I could hear his heart racing, his breath becoming deep and a worried look into his eyes. "Where's Chloe?"

"Who?" I asked, stood up and looked at him arching a eyebrow. Fear and anger. That's what he had into his beautiful eyes.

"CHLOE!" Noah screamed, I almost pissed on my pants. Not literally, I mean... Yeah, well, he screamed. I haven't listened to that yet, was a new experience. "Chloe!" He screamed again.

"Who is-"

"My twin!" Oh yeah, he said something about her before, right? I don't think I remember...

"She can be out of here. I don't know, maybe having lunch..." I answered trying to calm him down.

"She can't walk. She would never leave this house without mom." I was surprised, again. He never said a thing about his sister condition. "Chloe! Chloe, where are you?!" He screamed again looking around.

Noah started to walk through the apartment, avoiding the kitchen. I started to walk too, looking around to try to find something about her, even knowing nothing about the girl.

"How... How is she?"

"She's my twin, how do you think she looks like?!" Noah screamed from Satan knows where. He was so stressed, but I would be too. "Chloe! Chloe, tell me where you are!"

I started to be nervous. More than ever, to be honest. My hands started to sweat, my heart was racing. Noah already lost his mom, he was so scared about it, maybe lost his sister could be terrible for him too.

I needed to do something, if she was dead he could be the next. Two people, and with him would be three. It's all my fault... I could feel my back hurting so much, and my fingers starting to bleed.

My legs were failing and when I less expected, my body was on the floor. I bitted my lips, it could happen that moment, oh my! Noah had seen enough! My back started to hurt even more and I could feel my whole body ache, my legs spreading, just like my arms. I said nothing, I needed to get out.

It always happens when I'm too worried or guilty, or when I have a lot to think. The animal condition and savages thoughts always took care of my whole body, and I can't control it until it ends. Luckily I have the guts to control when I'm full transformed.

My face started to hurt too, as all my bones were becoming bigger than the usual. I started to lose the colors of my vision, and I couldn't walk. I was trying to get up, so I could at least sit on the floor. And I could.

I was trying to focus my vision, Noah's voice was still screaming for his sister and he was walking to me. He was close... So close...

"I can't find her, I think that the pers- OH MY GOD!" He screamed, act that hurted my ears. Noah stepped back so many times that I thought that he was going to runaway, but I was right in front of the door. "A wolf! Finn there's a wolf here!" He was panicking again, Noah started to cry one last time, and his body was shaking.

I'm guilty.

I laied my head on the floor, looking into his eyes and trying to send his a message, everything would be ok. I would never hurt him. Never.

But he screamed again.