New York [harry styles au]

27

27.
Not speaking about the things that bothered us, that was how we dealt with the issues surrounding us – Harry and me. It was the only way to keep our love alive, which at its best was the greatest feeling in the whole world. Who wouldn't want to keep that afloat? It was difficult at times, though. Like when we told Beatrix and Smith to keep Harry's business with Jonathan a secret from Angelina but Beatrix accidentally exposed it. We knew it would happen at some point but were not prepared to face the true reality of it. We hadn't seen Angelina for nearly a whole month before Smith invited us to his birthday gathering at Niall's bar on the 15th of April 1973.

Smith was turning 30, a huge deal. I couldn't help but wonder when or if he was ever going to ask Beatrix to marry him. After all, she was 27 and they were both at perfect ages for marriage and children. Would Harry and I ever get married, or even have children and lead that kind of life? I wanted it at some point but I was unsure. Maybe Beatrix and Smith were just as unsure as us but I didn't realise.

"What are you thinking about?" Harry's hand fell over mine.

"Marriage." We were sat at the table with Harry's bank statements scattered before us.

"Woah okay." He chuckled before diverting his attention back to the statements.

"You have so much rent to pay. I'll obviously contribute to that."

"How?"

"How what?"

"You don't have a job anymore." He said plainly.

"Yeah, but I still have a little money left over from my last shift."

"Winona?"

"Yeah?" I began to write the sum of my money onto one of our 'payment plan' sheets.

"Have you felt the urge to leave recently?"

"Can I be honest?" I peer up and catch his eyes, he nods. "Yeah, I have."

"Oh." He glances away and an awkward tension builds around us. "Do you still feel it?"

"No."

"Good."

And that was the typical outline for our conversations. We still made love when we felt like it, shared a cigarette, listened to music together etcetera; but it all suddenly felt abnormal. I knew the love was still there but we had both changed. Smith's birthday would hopefully change this, maybe going out somewhere together again would make us realise that our love really was only for each other.

"We should stop this and get ready." I say, pushing my chair out and standing up. He watched me with curious eyes as I did so.

"Uh – yeah, sure." He quickly picked up the scattered pieces of paper from the table and put them into a pile. I wanted to get ready and go but something was stopping me. Where had our carelessness gone? I wanted to be dancing with Harry, not sorting out payments with him like some accountant. If I wanted one of those, I could go to a bank. No, I needed Harry. The one in a million, a diamond in the rough.

I paced to the record player and put You're Driving Me Crazy by Temperance Seven under the stylus.

"Come here." I put my hand out towards him and he awkwardly reached for it, I pulled him close to my body. My hands guided his palms to my waist before falling into their own place on his shoulders. I swayed and he followed suit. We turned and sauntered around the living room, deep smiles gradually falling onto our faces.

"Are we getting old?" Harry leant into my shoulder and whispered.

"You're 23, Harry. I'm 20. We're not old."