Forgetting Logic | Book One

14

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you

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Alexander

"You really think traveling across the country to a state that you've never been to is really going to help avoid Thomas" Laf asked. I was packing my things to move. It had been tense these last couple of days between all of us. Everyone wanted answers to why I was leaving

I packed my sweaters into a bin, "It's more than that Lafayette. It's never been all about Thomas. It's about me. Me Lafayette, my health, my mental, my happiness."

John stood up from the tall swivel chair that sat behind the counter. He walked over to me and placed his hand on mine. Things have been awkward between us since our last encounter but it's nice to know that he still cared about me. "You don't have to do this. We can help. We can protect you."

"What if I don't need protection. John there is nothing you guys can do to protect me from myself. I appreciate your concern, I really do. Sometimes the best way to figure things out it by yourself."

"But you don't have to do it alone. We have your back no matter what. You know that." Hercules added onto John and Lafayette's argument to keep me here.

I need them to understand that this is my decision. "That's exactly why I need to do this alone. You guys aren't going to be there all the time."

The Sisters were here too. They've been the most pressed about this situation. Especially Angelica. "You're gonna throw away your education and future?"

She definitely wanted to keep me here. She's was like my second mother. She always looked out for me and I know she's disappointed but I have to do this for me.

Plus I'm not throwing away my future. USC and UCLA are only a couple of amazing Universities in California. "Guys I'm not throwing away my future. There's plenty of Universities in California that I can attend while I'm away."

Eliza stood in the corner playing with her hands. She didn't speak much when it came to me. I never understood why. I've never done her wrong or gave her a reason to hate me. Honestly I don't even know if she hates me but I get the feeling that she's always uneasy.

Peggy on the other hand kept unpacking my bag. Everything I would put in, she would take out. I finally grabbed her wrist and moved her over to the other side of the dorm.

I heard her sigh,"I just can't believe you're really leaving us."

Everyone mumbled in agreement. They had such Lone faces. It fell silent as I put my final belongings in my luggage. I looked over each and every individual in the room. These were the people that made my days worth living through. Some how and some way they made me believe in friendship again. I knew the next three years would be hard and confusing without them.

I would feel uncomfortable in so many ways. I would have to start over from scratch. Even though I'm leaving them I still wanted them to know that I will always be in touch.

I sat on the couch and rallied them all together to circle around me. I held my peace as I sat to talk to them for the last time.

"Listen guys, I love each and everyone of you with all my heart. I've known you guys for about a year now, and for this one I've felt like I've been with you for ages. Not everything in life is set in stone. I'm not gonna be gone forever. I want all of you to know that this is not because of Thomas. Yes we've.....it's been rough between us. Yes he's hurt me but he's also taught me that I need to learn how to forgive. I beg you guys with my soul on the floor that when I leave you do not hinder Thomas from falling in love or from following his dreams. Don't be rude to him on my behalf because it's time that I move on.     Treat him as a person and reliable human being. He deserves that much."

John paced around the room as I spoke. He finally blew his top as he threw a candle across the room. "He's hurt you time and time again. Broke your heart and betrayed you. Why do speak of him as if he's the victim?"

"Because it's not all his fault. I didn't let go. I couldn't let go. I doubted our relationship. I doubted that he loved me. I was so focused on the past that I couldn't see the future. I was stubborn and rude and I realize that now. It was never him...."

It was then that I realized that I needed to apologize.  Without warning I stood to my feet and dragged my luggage all the way to Thomas and Maddison's dorm. I knocked on it frequently until he answered.

"Before you slam the door in my fac-

I could comprehend what was going on fully. His lips were on mine and for the first in a long time I felt at home. I felt safe in his embrace. Like nothing mattered and for that split second nothing did matter. For that split second I wanted to unpack my bags and stay. I never wanted to leave his side. He was my champagne and I got drunk off his footsteps. My God he made me whole.

"Stay." He whispered as his lips detached from mine. His hands still warm on my cheeks our foreheads glued together in harmony. I wanted him so bad...

But I want my sanity more.

"I can't do that Jefferson and you know that." I pulled away from him. I needed to let him go.

"Jefferson?" He seemed stunned that I used his last name. I could see his eyes gloss up into tears threatening to fall.

If I was going to do this I had to look him in his eyes and break it off. "Look, I just came to tell you that you were right. You don't have to live with the stress of me. I'm stubborn, rude, indecisive, and I jump to conclusions. I never believed in us when you thought we could conquer the world."

"You were everything I-"

"Please just let me finish.....I love you. You know that. But it's time that we separate like you said. I know I'm rambling but I really just wanted to say one thing."

"What's that?"

"I'm sorry, for everything."

"Sorry for what Hamilton?"

"Forgetting Logic."

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AND THATS A WRAP PEOPLE. Forgetting Logic is now over!!! Ik I'm sad too. It's been a journey. Thank you every who constantly commented, voted, and read this beautiful book. I really appreciate it I didn't think that I would get this far.

Please comment and tell me all you thoughts! I wanna know how you feel loves.

But before we exit,
What was your favorite part?
Who do you side with?
What are some character flaws that you see in yourself?
Are you sad to see it end?