Jihyo wished she wasn't so nice.
her kindness had gotten her close to nowhere. it'd gotten her to advertising.
years of coming in the top ten ranks at school, scoring close to perfect on her college entrance exam, leading to what?
advertising. even the title of her job sounded mundane.
jihyo sullenly looked into her coffee mug and was greeted by her face, unsmiling. horribly bored.
she wouldn't be so bored if it weren't for her oh so helpful talent of letting others walk all over her. like a mat that had "crush my dreams, please" written in black cursive lettering, surrounded by braided straw, or whatever western welcome mats were made of.
the aroma coming from the coffee unsettled jihyo's stomach, so she tried squeezing another hazelnut cream cup into the beverage.
so this was where her politeness had led her to. pouring a damn hazelnut cream cup into coffee, watching the clock and wondering why five o' clock had to be so far away.
on an unrelated tangent, jihyo was in a relationship she knew she shouldn't be in, but she didn't know how to stop. jihyo took a swig of coffee and the burning warmth stung her.
jung hyungshik was the same way.
sweet, but a bitter taste remained whenever he would kiss her. sweet in that jihyo thought she was in love with him, with all of him, in his good days and his bad. but falling in love shouldn't hurt the one falling. not the way jihyo was hurt.
it was mostly physical.
jihyo still didn't know what to call it. if it was abuse, she didn't know. she knew how much it hurt, she knew it was wrong and she knew that she had to stop.
but she couldn't find a word for the kind of impact jung hyunshik had left on her.
hyungshik's words never left jihyo mentally hurt. no, she believed that he loved her and sometimes he got angry.
and sometimes, people let their anger come out through their lips.
but all of their time together, it seemed as though anger was the only thing leaving hyungshik's lips.
and jihyo remained the caring, whimsical girlfriend she'd always been.
jihyo ripped open another hazelnut cream cup and dunked the contents into her cup.
it hurt jihyo's head to remember how much she loved that man. she'd given up on her dreams of being a doctor, for him, to please only him.
to maybe squeeze out a small set of three words from his mouth. a sliver of praise if she got lucky.
she was so ready to do anything for him. and the only thing she'd gotten back were transparent words. words with no foundation.
white noise.
the coffee made a soft sound as jihyo quietly poured it down the sink.
it was too sweet for her.
