After all of this had happened I started hating him. I would talk so much crap about him to my friends. They'd tell me to just leave but we planned an expensive vacation together so I couldn't have unless I wanted to waste that money. So we went on vacation, fighting every single day & night about alcohol & him cheating on me. I had given him the ultimatum to stop drinking or I couldn't stay with him. Once we got back home from our trip he promised me he was done partying & that he's sorry for everything he put me through. My trust for him had completely vanished & I couldn't get myself to forgive him for everything he did to me. I was constantly worrying if I was good enough or if he was cheating on me. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night or I'd have nightmares about it. I started being really mean to him to get back at everything he'd done to me. My therapist told me I treat the people who have continuously hurt me poorly so that I make them leave because I have trouble leaving people I let close to me. After awhile it finally worked.
We had been looking for apartments to move into & the day we agreed on one things, of course, escalated. He was being distant & weird, asking me these "what if"questions so I knew something was off. He kept pressuring me to have sex with him & when I told him I don't know when I'll be ready he shoved me off of him & threw a fit. He pushed me so hard into my ribs I lost my breath. I was so scared for my life I locked myself into my bathroom & grabbed anything to protect myself with. When I went back into my room he kept calling me crazy & insane for begging him to not hurt me & even started laughing & telling me to go to an asylum. He collected all of his things & the stuff he had bought me. He tried leaving but I was so confused on what was happening so I stood in front of the door until he told me what I did wrong. He pushed me into the door & started yelling at me until I got out of the way & let him leave. After this, he dragged my emotions around for a week. He'd tell me we were together & then an hour later say he didn't want me. He used me sexually & then would apologize for doing so. I finally had enough so I blocked his number & him from all my social media accounts.
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Abused in Silence
Non-FictionThis story is based on my true events of my abusive relationship. I am wanting to get my story out there so that people know the early signs that they are dating an abuser. I am tired of society romanticizing domestic violence & emotional abuse.
