Wild Horses

False Pretenses

*LENA*

*FLASHBACK*

Wednesday came and with it Gretchen. For some reason, I thought she'd know better than to actually come back to our penthouse and actually find me forgiving, for I was quite the opposite. In the beginning, she knew where I stood when it came to cheating and having multiple women on the side, and she had sworn to me I was different. That she had her eye on me from the beginning and knew she could and would stay faithful to me. Even though I had told her all of my qualms of starting said relationship with her, she was a smooth talker and soon I was moving in with her and everyone knew us as this power couple.

I easily moved up to be what I always dreamed, a senior editor on staff, and she knew how to make me feel loved and appreciated. All of that lasted only a year, and then her traveling became heavier, and with it came the fights as when she travelled, she would barely answer my texts or phone calls and would skip over the facetimes I tried to send.

"Yoo-hoo! I'm home, Lena!" I could hear Gretchen's voice as she exited the elevator turning my heart to ice. I was in our room, finishing up the packing of my belongings where she found me. "What are you doing? Really? We never got to talk, Lena!" She said as she set down her expensive Coach purse.

"Talk about what? There's nothing to talk about.." I say curtly as I tape up my last box then head to empty my toiletries from the bathroom where she followed me.

"I thought you loved me, Lena..." she says in a sad tone which does nothing to me at the moment. I simply ignore her as I dig for my things. "Lena? Is this how it's going to be?" She continues to push.

I turn quickly towards her, my face red, "Yes, Gretchen! This is how it's going to be! I just want to know how long?" My voice is raised now causing her eyebrows to raise for even when we fought, I rarely raised my voice.

"How long? What do you mean?" She pretends innocence which is beyond my comprehension.

"I guess the question should be how long and how many? You think I'm stupid? You think I don't know when you travel you hook up? You just can't help yourself, can you? How long did it take you to seduce Kara, of all people, Gretchen?" My fists are balled as I spew how I feel.

This doesn't seem to deter her in the least as she walks towards me just about backing me against the wall by the shower, "It's not what you think. Please, Lena! You mean everything to me! I wish you knew that! I meant what I said: you're different to me!"

I scoff now as I slam down my hairbrush, "I meant everything to you! I did? Are you kidding yourself, Gretchen? Really? I don't have any words for you right now..." I push my way past her as I start shoving everything into my overnight bag.

But she doesn't know when to stop. "It's true! I've tried so hard to make this work, Lena! I...I messed up, ok? But I can try to make it up to you! Tell me what to do!"

I sniffle now as I try to hold back the tears of anger and hurt, "Nothing...you can't ever make it up to me..." I march back into the bedroom and shove some clothes in an overnight bag. "I'll have my things out of here by the end of the week, but I'm staying in a hotel. We were over the minute you decided to go down on my best friend..." I choke out the last words as I grab my keys.

"Wait!!!! Lena! Please!" Gretchen all but rushes towards me and grabs my arm. "Don't go! I'm sorry! Please! Lena!"

I try to yank away, but she keeps a firm grip on my wrist making me wince. "Let go of me, Gretchen," I whimper out as she gets in my face.

"You'll regret this. I'll ruin you! You'll never get an editing job here in Chicago, I guarantee you that!" She hisses in my face now turning my blood cold as my heart hammers, but I remain firm.

"I said get off of me! You won't threaten me, Gretchen! Done! That's what we are!" I manage to get out of her grasp as I hurry to leave. As the elevator closes, I hear her yelling.

"You can't just leave me, Lena!!!! I'll make your life a living hell!!!!"

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

I wake up in a panic as I sit up straight in the bed, my heart hammering out of control. My face feels wet, and I realize I've been dreaming again. I've had this same nightmare almost every night after it happened and each time I wake up crying.

Wiping my eyes, I realize it's only 2 in the morning, and I'm thirsty; so, I head to the main house to get a drink of water. As I tiptoe to the cupboard for a glass, I hear a soft voice behind me. "Can't sleep either?"

I jump as I turn to see Stef standing there in a pair of shorts and a tank. My face feels hot as I look over her tone body and back up to her soft hazel eyes. "Oh...no..bad dream..." I admit as I fill my glass with cold water.

"Ya?" Her bare feet pad over to grab herself some water. "Wanna talk about it?"

I bite my bottom lip as I shake my head and lean against the sink. "I'm just stressed about this job interview is all....not used to sleeping in such quiet." I now laugh nervously as I play with my glass.

Leaning against the fridge, she listens to me intently before replying, "Ya, I bet the city is much noisier than out here in the country. All you hear out here are coyotes, barn owls and crickets!" She smiles at me softly.

I quickly blink back hot tears not wanting to cry in front of her. The way she looks at me is making me emotional for some reason. It's like she really cares, and to be honest, I haven't felt heard or cared for in quite some time. All I can chalk this up to is that I'm purely exhausted at this point; so, I gulp down my water and head for the door.

"You don't have to run off! Stay!" she calls after me, and I turn. "On the couch...I can make you some tea...we can talk..."

It all sounds inviting, but I can't. I can't get close to her or anyone especially since I'll be heading to Seattle soon enough. I smile sadly, "I really am tired. I'm going to head back..." I open the screen door and leave before she can stop me. No sense in drinking and baring my heart to a strange woman I'm attracted to. No sense in hurting more than I already do.