Where Should I Look For Love?

How to take step one

"What have you done, Rhia?" I whine.

"See, I told you it's not me but you. You are the one who is having a tough time looking at him and staying close to him."

"Yes, because you have made me conscious around him."

"Nonsense. I just made you aware of what already was there."

"Nothing was there!," I scream.

"Ssh. Slow. You will wake up mom and dad."

"Fine. But undo it."

"Undo what?" She asks baffled.

"This strange thing you have done to me. That has made me strange. That is why I am acting strangely." I pace around my room while she is sitting on my bed.

She starts laughing. "Look at you. You are all worked up."

"Because of you." I point a finger directly at her.

"I can't undo your feelings."

"There are no feelings." I grit my teeth.

"Okay. Tell me what was Pranay bhaiya's reaction when you ignored him today?"

"I have already told you. He looked annoyed."

"Has he sent any message or called after office hours?"

"I don't know. I have switched off my phone."

This time she laughs even more loudly throwing her head back.

"What?! I am petrified of what he may ask me and what should I tell him." I sit down on the bed with a thump.

"Okay. Okay." She replies after finally settling down from her laughter fits. "You have to talk to him."

I start shaking my head. "Not a chance."

"Listen to me. You gotta talk to him. That is the only way out. How are you going to manage to avoid him for all these months and years?"

"I have got no idea." I cover my face with my hands and mumble stupidly.

"You can do only one thing. Start being normal."

"How?"

"What makes you nervous around him?"

"Don't know."

"Well, then there is only one way you can be normal again."

"What?" I look up at her eagerly.

"Has Pranay bhaiya ever did something that made you feel indebted to him? Like something no one has ever done for you."

"Many times. He has supported me so many times that I sometimes feel I can never thank him enough or never do enough for him."

"Great, that is the key."

"Which key?"

"Now listen to me carefully, every time you see him remember whatever he has done for you. And when you start to ignore him, think if that is how you should pay him back for his feelings."