He didn’t like it.
Itachi had always been in control of his emotions. No—he had to be. After all, he was able to remain where he was and had been able to do all he had only by putting on a façade. But it wouldn’t have been possible to do that had he not been completely in control of his emotions. If he let something slip out, what he had planned for all along could go wrong and everything could be ruined. Itachi couldn’t allow that; not when he’d worked so hard to keep Konoha and Sasuke safe. So he had to keep everything in check and not let anything show through. Not to show his true character or what was going on behind the mask that he always wore. So far he’d done a good job of keeping it up.
But Imi was changing all that.
Right from the start, just her arriving had been like a punch to the stomach. It had knocked Itachi's emotions out of whack, getting to see Imi after so long, finding she was sticking around and getting to catch up on all that they’d missed. But the only thing Itachi had found was that once he’d accepted Imi was going to be staying, things didn’t go back to normal. He couldn’t simply nod along and go with it—there always seemed to be something in the way. Only it didn’t seem to be something that Itachi could control—and he didn’t like that fact. The way he was reacting appeared to be automatic, and no matter what Itachi did, he couldn’t get his head around it.
Of course, he didn’t blame Imi; he wasn’t angry with her. In reality, he wasn’t really angry at all. But Itachi didn’t understand why he was feeling like this. Why his emotions seemed to be in such turmoil when he knew Imi was here. He knew she was going to stay. And he was remembering all they’d been through in Konoha. He couldn’t even quite comprehend just what his emotions were. Maybe he’d spent too long suppressing them and hiding them away that he’d lost touch with them. That maybe the line between the real Itachi and the apathetic mask was becoming thinner by the day—but he didn’t want to be like that. He was like this for the sake of Konoha; of Sasuke.
However, he had to keep it up for their sakes, too.
Which is why Itachi felt so torn now. He’d woken up that morning in a state he’d never experienced before. On the day of the massacre, although Itachi was almost trance-like, he had things he knew he had to do. He had a plan. When he’d been told he’d have to kill his clan, Itachi had known he could go to Imi to talk about it, even though he was shocked and scared. But this time it was different. Now he didn’t feel like he had a plan. He didn’t know what to do with himself—and he couldn’t go to Imi about it. A huge portion of why Itachi's emotions were like they were, were because of Imi—he couldn’t confess it all to her without understanding it himself.
So Itachi did all he could do in his current state of mind: he kept to himself. He wandered through his day doing all that was necessary, trying to force himself to keep focused, but finding his concentration wandered. He would catch sight of Imi and that turmoil would come back, and he had to turn away. Itachi hadn’t spoken to Imi all day, and he knew she was probably concerned…but that only served to make it worse. He couldn’t choose either option, as both would end badly, leaving Itachi in a position where he didn’t know what to do. The cloud of frustration and confusion hung over him all day, leaving him silent—well, more so than normal—and drawing further into himself.
Imi wasn’t the only one to have noticed, however. Kisame had to work with him, and he could see things weren’t right with Itachi—and although at first he had let it slide, knowing Itachi was closer to Imi than anyone, when he spotted her glancing over at Itachi for the third time in a few minutes, and frowning as Itachi left the hideout a while later, Kisame knew it went further than that. Obviously he wasn’t even talking to Imi about it. But when Kisame went for a walk a while later, he knew he had to say something to him after stumbling across him training repetitively, clearly not having been back to the hideout yet.
Raising an eyebrow at his behaviour, Kisame approached slowly, but eventually just threw caution to the wind and began simply,
“Itachi-san; calm down. What are you doing out here?”
From the way he snapped his head round to look at him, Kisame gathered he hadn’t even known he was there—which was only proof he wasn’t in the right state of mind. But as Itachi brushed off his question to state he was training—that he was frustrated—Kisame persisted, replying,
“Even Imi hasn’t seen you around,” But Kisame was even more surprised as, although Itachi turned away, he still definitely heard him mumble in return,
“Yeah, well, she’s the problem.”
For a moment Kisame paused, thinking it over, but it didn’t take him long to figure it out. He’d seen the way Itachi and Imi were with each other; how close they were and how they obviously cared about each other. There’d always been a part of him that had wondered if there was anything between them. But evidently there was—only Itachi didn’t quite realise it. Though as Kisame considered it all, it wasn’t particularly surprising. All Itachi had ever known was fighting and the ninja arts. Relationships weren’t really something that had ever come into it for him, prompting Kisame to step forward and finally respond quietly,
“Itachi-san…you’re more mature than most people double your age. I don’t doubt you have been all your life; acting older as well as with your skills and general knowledge of things. But when it comes down to it…you are still seventeen, no matter how you look at it. Technically you’re still a teenager—though it’s weird to consider it—and you know the stereotypes—”
His words were brought to a halt for a second as Itachi fixed him with a glare that didn’t appear often, but he quickly continued,
“Itachi—Imi’s not a little girl, and you know she’s not. She’s a woman, and you’ve both got hormones. It’s natural for you to feel like this towards her, especially considering her close you two are. It’s not as if you’re that way with anyone else. And you were close in Konoha too, right? But that doesn’t make it a bad thing. Not unless you make it that way.”
With that, he swiftly backed up and got out of there, not entirely sure how Itachi was going to react to his words. But he at least hoped he got him to think about it: after all, it was clear he liked her. Kisame considered both of them friends, and he didn’t want them to lose the opportunity because Itachi was too distant about it. However, Kisame's words had gotten through to Itachi. Though at first it had been a shock to hear it, Itachi couldn’t stop himself from considering it. It all made sense—it would explain the way he felt, and why he’d kissed her when he’d left Konoha. Their connection had always felt more than just friends…so why had he never considered it?
It was the only thing he could think about as he wandered back to the hideout.
Because now…it all made sense.
