Second-Hand Dresses

Chapter 27: Focus

The sharpest blade is the one in your back.

—Jakushìkyo Nichyoti, Tears of the Sun Queen

Lily was once again back in the carriage. It was early evening and she could hear the rattle of wooden wheels on the cobblestones blending with the vendors trying to hawk the last of their wares before packing up for the day.

She was uncomfortable. Her back ached from just below her shoulders to her tail bone, a strange rippling sensation from the purity spells that Tabithas had purchased for her. The magic was subtle but the old man who cast them was not a Kasin; his energies were causing random muscles to jerk and twist as her body and magic adjusted to the presence of the new spells.

Squirming, she leaned against the side of the carriage and took a deep breath. Spending a few hours having the spells laid on her had helped her calm down but she still felt the pressing need to work on Nirih's dress. She couldn't afford to pay off her mother's—no Sarlin's—loans before the end of the week.

The only concern was Hasan. She let out a soft moan. Even with her fear, part of her wanted to rip off her clothes and let him have his way with her well into the morning. Her body warmed at the thought but she clamped down on her fantasies. She couldn't afford to let him spend another night, not with Nirih's dress or Mindil's friendship.

She took another deep breath to steel herself. She knew he would be waiting for her when she returned home. It didn't matter if he had something to do, he would drop everything for her. She loved it and craved it, but she had to say no.

Lily wasn't sure if she had to strength to do so.

The din outside of the carriage grew quieter. She peeked out of the window and saw they were only a few blocks from her house. She tensed with anticipation and a twinge along her back scraped against her nerves.

When the carriage stopped in front of her house, Lily gathered her things.

Tabithas opened the door before she finished, the older woman bowing as she held it open with one gloved hand. "Welcome home, Bedame Lily dea Kasin."

"Thank you." She held out her hand. When Tabithas took it, she stepped down.

Tabithas swept up her bag behind her. "Does the bedame need help with her guest?"

"Guest?" Lily looked around and then up at her house. The front windows were open and the smells of freshly cooked dinner drifted out of them. She could also see new flowers in vases on either side of the door. "Oh."

She took another deep breath. "No, no. I should deal with him."

Lily turned to Tabithas. "Thank you. You've done so much for me and you didn't have to."

"One cannot see a young girl grow up and then just abandon her on the side of the road." Tabithas smiled. "However, you can't count on me watching you for everything. You are a wonderful young lady who has a bright future in front of you."

"I can tell him no, right?" Lily glanced back up at the front door.

"Do you want him to stay the night?"

She sighed. "Yes...," she started, "... but he can't. I can't, right?"

Tabithas glanced around and then leaned forward. "Do what you have to, do what is right for you. It doesn't matter what I think about him. It doesn't matter what he thinks. You need to take care of yourself, whatever that means."

It took a moment for Lily to digest the words. "Thank you." She leaned forward and hugged Tabithas tightly.

The old woman tensed for a moment and then hugged her back.