Me In Words

Closed Systems

We are not free people. We may not be in jail but we are imprisoned.

Your life is made up of closed system after closed system. Like living in a pool, deprived of the ocean.

Though there is a place that I know where I've never had a decision of my own.

My own home.

Everyday I come home from school and feel no different. My teachers, my parents, the principal, my dad. They're all the same thing. They're symbols of power.

No matter what form it's in, power will do what it's best at doing and that's making you do what they want you to do, because no matter how old you are, if you cry in this world there will be someone there to shut you up.

Especially when it involves your future.

Do you know what I feel when I talk about what I want to be when I'm older? I feel fear.

Fear that I will be shut down. Fear that it's not good enough for my parents. Fear that it's not what they wanted. Then that fear turns into anger. I become angry that I can't make my own decisions. I feel angry when my life isn't controlled by me. Then that anger gets me in trouble because I express how I feel. Then power shuts me down all because I expressed how I feel.

Remind you, This is not politics. This is not media. This is my own home.

My own home is a closed system.

I only realized when I started exploring new things and there's this voice in the back of my head saying "No", "No because I'm your parent", "No because I said you can't", "No you can't go to that youth event because you are Catholic!".

Religion. Is also a closed system.

One that no one expects because if you worship your god, there's no wrong. Right?

Being a catholic myself, I don't agree with a lot of things in the bible. Like chapter 20 verse 13 of the bible it states "If a man lie with a male, as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination".

Tell me, why is it that the system that was created for peace and acceptance won't allow you to be your true self because that's not what God wanted?

If I am not what God wanted then why did he make me?

If God's perfect hands made me then why would he change me?

God has also planned my future. The path that my life will proceed on. So why would a label like "Christian", "Catholic", "Muslim" and more give you the right to attempt to change God's plan for me?

Don't you see it doesn't make sense?

The bible is my guide. Not my rule book. I want so much more for the world than to try and change others to fit someone else's needs or ignorance.

We can be so much better than that.

I want society to be accepting, to allow freedom to be a word that defines us. But that won't happen as long as we keep creating and supporting these closed systems.

We are not free people. We may not be in jail but we are imprisoned.