Me In Words

Whenever I'm Ready

I have trust issues.

This means...

Every question you ask will receive a vague answer.

Every touch you initiate with promt a timid reaction.

And however deep you want to divulge into my life, I won't let you get past the surface.

I can't help it. I'm scared.

Scared to be vulnerable, even to people I already know well.

Scared to show a fragile side of myself to a society that shatters hope to uphold an image.

Scared to be left after my heart has been planted at your feet.

To me, it hurts less to be alone from the beginning than to be abandoned in the end.

Call me selfish.

I am selfish to possible deprive someone of my full attention.

I am selfish to not give a selfless person a chance to really know me.

But even I don't know me.

So it is really selfish of me to not show who I am, when I don't really know who I am?

Isn't it only right to find myself before I let someone else explore me?

At least I think so.

I am who I am. I am who I will be. And I'm just not ready to open up.

But if you're there with me when I do.

Maybe all it needed to take was a person like you.