the worst part about breaking up with you wasn't what happened for months afterwards.
It was the very next day.
It was forcing myself to get out of bed and get ready for school after crying all night.
It was a hope that maybe if you'll see me we could work things out, talk.
It was the ride to school, wishing tears do not start escaping my eyes.
It was smiling at everyone and pretending everything is fine when in reality my heart was threatening to break out of my chest even though it was broken beyond repair.
It was gulping back tears and trying to get a grip on myself.
It was like bricks were tied to my feet and everything around me was moving slowly.
I did not look directly towards you as i saw you in the corridor but i felt your presence. The laugh that i was so accustomed to echoing across the hallway into my head, where it kept ringing in my head like a warning, bringing hot tears to my eyes.
It was rushing into the class first so that i wouldn't bump into you on the way because I could not imagine being so near you yet so far away.
It was no unusual. It was like my soul was trapped into someone else's body and I was looking at you through someone else's eyes.
It was pure pain when you were so near enough that i could hear you and touch you but you didn't even acknowledge my presence there. I felt dead like a ghost watching other people interact. But when our eyes did meet, boy oh boy, my heart literally stopped and I felt the blood in my veins freeze. There was no remorse , no sense of familiarity that this was a person you spent nights talking to, a person with who you planned out a future ; a person who you broke while they tried to fix you.
It was a mere second, but it was the worse second of my life.
It was when I realized I was just a stranger to you. And it fucking hit me in wave, again and again.My skull was on fire, and my vision was blurry. It was pure fucking torture.
I don't even know how the day went by but by the end of it I collapsed onto my bed And sobs racked my body as I tried not to scream.
And I had to do it all over again. 5 days a week I had to go through the same thing.
I've come to realize that it never got better, I just got used to it until I was numb.
I mean, imagine being with a person for three months and then it all dissolves in a matter of hours,
and you have to go on and be okay with being strangers. That tears you apart. I swear it does.
I know three months sounds little, but I swear to god I knew I found him, the love of my life, turned to
The tragedy of my life.
