Choices ((Old Copy))

Part 11

We biked back to the Lodge from the river, I half didn't care about James, but the other half of me did. If he was born before me, he might remember more about Mum. I also wanted to get back to the Lodge to figure out the clue. If it was in my bedroom, then I needed to get there and see it. It didn't exactly make sense, id been in the bathroom many times, every day in fact. Id never noticed anything, and Ben had fixed the sink every time it accidentally sprayed me. And he never noticed anything. Then again, any time we were in there, we each had the light on. Apparently, the clue needed the light off. 

As we arrived at the Lodge the realization hit me. What was I going to tell my Dad? What was I going to tell Josh? Oh yeah, I and Ben just happened to get over our differences all the sudden and decided to get together. 

And then another realization hit me, I had a boyfriend. An actual boyfriend. Like, a real one, not some imaginary figment of my imagination. It was real. I glanced at Ben. What if I wasn't ready? What if I did something wrong and it hurt him? I couldn't do that. And maybe I forgave him too easily. No. . . I needed his help. . . And Sean was right. . . It was always Ben. . . Right?

Right as me and Ben approached the door I grabbed Ben's arm. He looked at me and became confused.

"Are you ok? Is something wrong?" He asked as I looked at him seriously.

"Ben. . ." I whispered. He put his hands on my shoulders and leaned down to see my eye as I looked at the porch.

"Skye. .?" He asked.

"I don't know if I can do this. . . Not yet. . ." I almost could see his heart hall to the floor. His blinked a few times and then took a deep breath.

"I think iv got an idea of what it is but I need to hear you say it." He whispered. I bit my lip, I didn't want to say it. My own heart sank as tears began to sting against my eyes.

"I don't think I can go out with you Ben," I said. The words physically and mentally hurt, I didn't think it would but it did. Ben's head hung and he removed his hands from my shoulders. He looked at me for a moment and then stepped inside the Lodge. I followed him in and wiped the tears from my eyes. My dad was standing right there.

"Ben, Sean tells me you know James so you're welcome to come with us. And I hope you're feeling better." My dad offered. I shook my head behind Ben.

"No thank you, Sir, I think I'll help the others here, still not feeling too well." Ben turned it down.

"Are you two ok?" Dad asked looking at me and him. I hadn't notice Ben holding back tears until now. I nodded.

"Just worried about James." I lied. I wasn't worried about him at all. Just because he was related to me didn't make him my family. Family was the people you were close to, the people you loved. . . I got in the car and pulled my knees up to my chest, not even bothering to buckle up. My dad got in the car and looked at me. I hugged my knees and buried my head in my knees. My dad put a hand on my back, assuming it was about James.

"Need support??" Dad asked, I nodded and he got out of the car. I moved to the Backseat and waited, still curled into a ball. Dad returned and sat in the driver's seat, but this time Josh got in the car and sat in the back with me, rubbing circular motions on my back. He then texted me. I and he never talked about problems out loud unless we were certain we were alone.

What happened? ~ Josh

To Josh ~ I got together with Ben. . . ~ Skye

WHAT!?!?!?!?!? HOW IS THAT A BAD THING!?!??!?!! ~ Josh

Josh looked right at me with wide eyes, I kept my eyes on my phone and bit my lip.

To Josh ~ We just broke up. . . ~ Skye

Oh. . . . Can I ask why? ~ Josh

To Josh ~ I didnt want to hurt him like I did last time. . . I wasnt Ready. . . I guess I just hurt him more anyhow. . . . ~ Skye

Josh wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. A new round of tears came on and I just hugged him back. My dad looked at us in the rear-view mirror and nodded at me. I nodded back at him, telling him I was ok for now.

"I'm going to text him," Josh whispered to me. I shook my head but Josh already had his phone out. He wouldn't let me read the texts though.

"Best Friend Joshie," I whispered to him. He narrowed his eyes at me and then shook his head disapprovingly. Then tilted his phone towards me so I could see.

To Ben ~ Hey, Skye just told me, you ok? ~ Josh

Ben is typing. . .

He tilted his phone back to himself after a second. I sighed, I wasn't going to get anything else outta him even if I tried. I pulled my knees up to my chest and looked out the window of the car as we pulled into the hospital. I sighed as I got out of the car. Of course, I hoped James was ok, I never wanted to wish ill on anyone. I just would rather be in my room right now. Josh and I followed my dad up the stairs to where James' room was. When I saw him, it hit me suddenly that he was actually my brother. He was unrecognizable.

"Looks like he fell about a hundred feet without a harness on. The boy should have at least used the safety precautions." The Doctor said. He pats my dad on the back and looked at me. "I'm guessing this is your other child, Miss Skye?" He asked. Dad nodded and the Doctor shook my hand, and then looked at Josh. "And her-"

"-Best friend, not a boyfriend," Josh said as he shook the doctor's hand, he was used to being assumed the Boyfriend. Skye smiled at the Doctor and then looked back at James.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine, he did break quite a few bones though. Sound like he should have stayed with his partner." The doctor said. Skye nodded, which reminded her that she needed to tell everyone what happened.

Group chats with everyone in it ~ James is in the hospital for those who didn't know. He went to the Rock-climbing event too soon and apparently decided not to wear a harness and fell down about a hundred feet. Broken bones and I can barely recognize him, but the doctor says he's ok. ~ Skye

Should've been there. I should have let him go ahead alone. ~ Sean

Group Chat ~ It's not your fault Sean, It probably would have happened whether you wanted it to or not. ~ Skye

Ben is typing. . .

I put my phone in my pocket before I could see his response. My phone buzzed several times over the next five minutes but I flatly ignored it. Josh read it all though and tapped my shoulder.

Hope he's ok. ~ Ben

I nodded and Josh took his phone back.

~~~

We drove home and I signaled Josh that I needed to be alone for a little while. I went upstairs to my bedroom and glanced at my bathroom. I bit my lip, I had been doing the clues with Ben, and I didn't really want to do it without him. . . But then again, right now, I didn't want to even think his name. It hurt too much. There was a knock on my bedroom door.

"Sean," I greeted, trying to smile. He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him back.

"I know its hard to feel bad for a brother you never knew about, but I can tell you feel bad. Unless this is about-"

"-Don't say his name." I interrupted, he put his chin on my head and sighed.

"So it is about him. Alright, sit down." He said. I sat down at the foot of my bed and he sat next to me. "Do you want to talk about it?" I shrugged and sighed.

"Not really," I said. He looked at me. "Can I test something?" I asked he shrugged and nodded. I put my hand on his neck and pulled him lower and pressed my lips to his. He seemed to be in absolute shock for a minute. Then he actually kissed me back. It didn't feel the same. But the question was, was that a good thing or a bad thing?