The Ex Wife

Chapter 1

Emma's P.O.V

I stir from my blissful sleep because of the baby monitor blairing poor Violet's cry's. A dull pain shoots through my head. Just another head ache I think to myself. I tend to get then often. Most likely from lack of sleep. Yet to open my eyes I slowly and gently rub circles on my temple's hoping to relive some of the pain but it only intensifies.

Reaching over to my bed side table I shuffle my hand around trying to find the lamp switch. Pulling the metal chain I hear a small 'clicking' sound and then the bright light stinging my eyes like a thousand bee's causing me to quickly shut my eyes.

Letting my eyes adjust to the new light in room I look at the small digital clock that sits next to the lamp, it reads '5:46 a.m'. Mumbling a few incoherent words under my breath. I stretch my petite body until I hear the cracking sounds and relief soon floods my body. Chucking off the warm blankets that had consumed me once before. I walk out of my room and right into the next known as Violet's room. Through the door you can hear her muffled  cry's. Opening the door her cry's start to calm down as I approach her crib.

The fairy night light and the moons rays are the only things illuminating her room. "Your up early this morning."
Looking into her crib I'm met with two beautiful blue eyes. "How about a diaper change and some breakfast?"
I'm answered with her cute gurgling sounds.

Picking up Violet's tiny but squirming frame I pull her to my chest. She instantly starts to play with my hair almost as if its the most interesting thing in the world. Finding the light switch I turn it on. I put Violet on the changing table and start to change her diaper. "You need to hold still you little wiggle worm." Laughter coating my voice. Violet's giggles are all that can be heard as I attempt to now change her clothes. Key word attempt. "Guess your going clothless for now just a diaper for now." She sends me a cheeky grin as to answer me a yes.
"Alright stinker pot I bet your hungry."

Putting on the boba baby wrap I slip Violet into the wrap and let her breast feed.
Deciding to go ahead and start working I walk over to the art room. A.K.A the living room. Pushing play on the compact radio I twist the middle knob until the station '92.9' appears on the small  screen. Walking over to the window I open up the curtains only to be met with the faiding moon. Walking back over to the easel and blank canvas I stare at it wondering what will come to mind. Grabbing the bucket of paint brushes and some paint bottles I let my mind wonder back to the man I love my Ex husband Mace that fateful night that left me the broken shell of the person I once was.

                       *Flash back*

Finishing up Mace's favorite dinner my homemade lasagna. The smell of the lasagna wafting through the house making my stomach growl non stop but I want to wait for Mace to get home. I put the lasagna in the oven to finish cooking. I grab two sets of plates and silverware and set the dinning room table. I decided to sit on the couch and wait for Mace to get home. After about fifteen minutes of waiting I'm snapped out of my thoughts by the front door being slammed open only to reveal a very angry Mace.

"Baby what's wrong?"

"Don't you fucking baby me!"

"What? Mace what's wrong?"

"Your just like all the other girls! Your a gold digging whore! Was the sex not good enough for you? Was I not good enough for you? Is that why you cheated? Huh?"

"What are you talking about Mace? I never cheated. I promise I never did." Tears began to roll down my face. How could he think I would do something like that.

"Get the fuck out of my house you gold digging bitch pack your bags and get out!"

More and more tears streamed down my face as I walk up the stairs to our room. How could he say that? How could he do this? I take my duffle bag and pack all the clothes that Mace didn't buy. I dont want him thinking that I married him for the money more than he already does. Last but not least I take one of our wedding photos and place it gently in the bag.

Walking down the stairs I see Mace holding papers in his hands.
"I want you to sign these and then get out."

"Is this really what you want Mace?"

"Yes, I don't want to be stuck with a cheater as a wife."

" I never cheated but if this is what you want I'd do anything to make you happy" I look him in the eyes to show him all the pain but he just looks away from my gaze.

More tears rolled down my face I took the pen and papers from his hands and signed them.

"Goodbye Mace, I love you I always will." I  whispered.

              *Flashback over*
Stepping away from the painting I see exactly what I feel. There I painted two tired eyes red rimmed from crying so much. Fresh tears pooling out of them. Under the eyes right in the center there is a heart. This heart is cracked and torn, pieces missing but it still remained after all it was just a broken heart.

Cleaning up all the the art supplies I decide to freshen myself up. Walking back to Violet's room I gently place her in her crib carful not to wake her up. Walking into the bathroom I flip on the lights and walk over to the mirror. All I see is a tired person staring back.

There's a kind of tired that needs a  goodnights sleep, and another that needs so much more. For me, one became the other, starting out at a "one night kind" until one day it was ever present- like it was once a heavy jacket but became heavy bones. It was then I knew that being tired could be  wearing of emotions too, that it can come together with a tired body, and become ingrained part of a life that isn't lived, but survived, endured. Taking care of Violet is hard being an only parent. I want Violet to have a father figure but Mace kicked me out. He hates me, but I love him. My tiredness shows through my dark circles that hang low under my eyes and my slouched body.

I strip down and step slowly into the tub, toes flinching as they touched the chilled ceramic floor. My mind was  still in shreds. The water pours down, it drips by my side, as my mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The sensation of the steamy water calms me; it takes my mind of things. All the things I honestly don't care about. It's the water. My mind swirls, and it's like I'm standing under an everlasting waterfall.
 
The rest of the shower was a blur. Standing in front of my closet I stare blankly at my cloths. I don't want to get dressed. I don't want to exist today. I just want a break. A break from life. Unfortunately that will never happen until the day I die.

Picking out an oversized hoodie and black leggings I decided to be comfortable today. Just something about over sized hoodies make them so comfortable.

Walking back into the bathroom I quickly brush the knots out of my hair and blow dry it i put on some mascara and throw my hair up into a messy bun not really caring how I look today.

I desperately need to get some landry done but me being my lazy self I'll do it later today.