Rotten Dreams (short stories)

It Hurts to Love You

I ran upstairs after supper to meet my love. I hastily climbed the stairs and went into the my room. "Johnny", I whispered, " No one's here. Come out". He came out from the closet and climbed onto the bed. We were dating for 5 years now and I was engaged to him. I was still living in my parents house. We kissed and he said, " So when are we getting married?". I blushed and said, " soon". We had our regular conversation and god he was funny. He made me laugh so hard that day that my stomach started clenching my intestines.

Suddenly, my mom barged in. Fear sent a chill down my spine. She asked me sternly, "who was that you were talking to?". I was hesitant in answering her but decided it was best for her to know about Johnny. We're engaged and she ought to know about us. I signalled Jonny to stand up and I told my mom to sit down in his place. "Mom, it's time I tell you. I'm in love with the man standing next to me, Johnny. He has been living in the attic from the time we moved in. He's a really nice guy mom and in fact this ring I'm wearing is his. We were planning on getting married and in fact I was going to tell you soon...". " Wait...stop right there. Johnny who? Who are you talking about? I don't see anyone. And you told me the ring was a 'fashion statement. Caroline dear, are you hallucinating?" I was shocked, horrified and dumbfounded. "But I don't understand. Do t you see him mother. Please tell me you do". "You need some rest dear", she said daringly. What did she mean she didn't see Johnny? I couldn't understand. " Caroline do you need help? Do you need to see a doctor", she asked me. "No mom, please leave. I can't talk right now", I said and she left disheartened.

"Okay, Caroline you need to sit down for this. I sorry I truly am but.. I don't know how to break this down for you.", Johnny said with tears streaming down his cheeks. All these years, I lied to you. I am not the man you think I am. In fact I'm not a man or a human rather at all. All of me belongs to you but all of me is empty too. I love you and I don't want to leave you. If you can please get over the fact that I'm not alive , then I'll do anything for you.". I was appalled. We're my ears playing tricks on me? "You are a ghost?", I shivered. He grabbed my hand and took me in front of the mirror. "Look", he said. "Do you you see me in the mirror? No. You're in love with a ghost Caroline. People will think you're crazy. You're the only one who can see me. To the rest of the world, you are engaged to nobody, engaged to your imagination".

I was broken, bewildered and shattered. My blood ran cold. I was numbed with pain, depressed. Mental agony set over me. My heart broke to pieces as the I was stuck in a quicksand of lies pulling me down away from reality. The one I loved for all these years turned out to be just a figment of my imagination. I loved a dead man. How could this happen to me? My emotions were on a high. I couldn't breathe. I was devastated and traumatised by his confession. But I loved him, all of me loved him, there wasn't a day that went by since I met him when I didn't love him. The blood pumping out of my heart had his name infused in it. My voice sang his name every time I talked. I danced every time I thought of him. I blushed every time I pictured his face.

Was there a way I could be with him forever?

"Johnny, it pains me but we cannot be with each other anymore. You're in another dimension and I'm in another. Unless there is a way..."

I quickly ran towards the drawer. I picked up a blade. "Caroline, don't proceed. Please. We'll move into a countryside where it's only you and me. Who cares about the rest of the world? Just don't do this. What about your family? Think of them too. Caroline please". I ran to the bathroom, latched the door and climbed into the bathtub. I texted all my friends and family goodbye and slowly picked up the blade. My hands were shivering. I pierced it into my skin and dragged it across my wrist. The pain covered my emotions but the fact that me and Johnny could be together forever gave solace. It hurts to love him but it also gives me joy when I love him. I saw the light shining above and Johnny stretched out his arm and pulled me into his world. We were now inseparable. Finally, our love was eternal.

For BhumikaManjappa