Brokenhearted (~Trillie fanfiction) | GREEN DAY | Completed

1.

Billie's POV

„Go away. Please. Just go." She couldn't even look at me. She gently wiped her eyes trying to hide her tears.

„Adie, wait. I don't get it. Why? Please, don't do that." I was so desperate. I totally knew why she was pissed on me, but divorce? I loved that woman so much. I couldn't live without her.

„Are you really questioning me, Bill? You've promised me, you're gonna be responsible. When I was sitting next to you, holding your hand on rehab, I was scared as hell. I thought I could lose you. You were so wrecked and destroyed. You swore you'd never touch drugs or alcohol again. Never! You knew you could fall down again. You promised you'd be better dad for Joey and Jakob. They were kids at the time .. they still are!"

„I know, Adie, I promise I'll never do that again." I begged her. I couldn't lose her.

„You will!" She cried. „You're still the same. Yesterday was the same. You were drunk as fuck. I was scared of you, I wasn't sure if I could open the door. I can't watch you all the time, I need to my own space for work and also for childern. I can't be your babysitter, Billie." She was quiet for a while. She moved to the other wall further from me.

„And now.. when our kids are broadly grown up, I have got only you and my work. And I need a man, a real man, who is responsible, reliable and mature. We're getting old, sweetie. We could be crazy at 20, 30.. but not now."

„You want us to be boring old couple?" I asked quietly.

„I haven't said that. You can still rock the concerts, make new albums, but you're not the young fool anymore. You must realize that your body's getting old too. You can't do drugs, you know?" She was right. She was so damn right. But that wasn't me. It wasn't about the drugs, girls and crazy fans. I loved music. It was my nature to go crazy sometimes.

„I'll get better, Adie. I promise. I'll give you the life, what you deserve." I tried.

„Stop, Bill. You can't manage that. We had a beautiful relationship, I will never forget. But I'm too old for this. Our kids are adult and I don't want to have another one, calling him my husband." She took a bag with my stuff and guitar and gave it to me. I didn't want to end this.

„I love you, Adrienne." I said desperately.

„I love you too," she held the door, „good bye." And then she shut it.

I was standing there in front of my house - my home - alone. I fucked this up so badly. She was right. I promised that I would never drink again. During our last tour and also after, I drank. Not so much as I did in past, but I broke my promise. Yesterday I was invited to one party. There were few people but yes - we drank a lot. I understood that Adie was pissed. I totally understood.
Alright. So I was damn fucking alcoholic. Let's prove it! I went to the nearest tavern. It was a tiny little place where only losers like me were sitting and quietly drinking alone. I put my hair to the face so nobody could recognise me. I sat there and drank for hours. I have no place to go.
Mike. My best friend. I needed to call him.

„Hello?"

„Hey, Mikey boy!" I screamed to the phone, happy to hear him.

„Oh, hey Billie, what's up?"

„I just wanted to hear you, you old bastard." I laughed.

„Ehm, Billie, are you okay? You sound a little, you know, drunk."

„Me? Oh noo, maan!" I screamed. The bartender gave me a warning look.

„C'mon Billie, again? Where are you?" He sounded worried.

„I don't know." I said distantly.

„Are you alone?"

„Forever." I felt my eyes filling up with tears.

„Do you remember I told you that I'm on vacation with Brittney and kids? I'm not even in US, I'm not able to come for you. I'll tell Tré, yes? He's surely gonna pick you up."

„I'm okay, Michael," I said seriously, „there's no need to call him." I just wanna a small talk with my friend, not to bother anyone.

„Be cool, BJ." He hung up.