Adrienne is fed up with Billie Joe's irresponsibility with alcohol. He still thinks he can be crazy like he used to be when he was younger. But she needs a mature man who she can grow old with. She breaks his heart. BJ is devastated, but a savior wi...
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Tré's POV
The next few days were similar. Billie didn't talk at all. I didn't know if he was so sad or so drugged. But luckily he didn't drink. I threw away all the alcohol I had in my house. I got bored. I haven't left the house since the Adrienne visit. Mike was still on his vacation, Billie was out of mind, I couldn't invite any other guys for beer, because Billie wouldn't hang with us and I didn't want him to be alone. And.. I hadn't the beer anyway. I needed to do someting. I sat behind my drum kit and played some random melody. It was more like a calm, tranquil melody than a wild and crazy one. Billie entered the room after a while. He just stood in a doorway with a mug in his hand. He seemed concentrated to the music. He drank up the tea or what it was and sat on the chair next to me. I stopped.
„Woah, who does finally get up?" I widely grinned at him.
„Can you play some more for me?" He said lightly.
„Of course." I winked at him. It was the first time he said anything during last days except ‚hey' when he met me. I played some songs by our favorite bands and singers and he seemed satisfied. When I finished some song, he said only ‚another one, please' or ‚more, please'. I thought it was helping him.
I played for him every day. It was for hours sometimes. I made a deal with him – I'll play for him, if he eats something every 3 hours. It was quite motivating for him and also for me. After few days he could reduce the number of painkillers, so he started to be more ‚Billie' again. The problem was with the other pills. He must have taken them every week. The first two weeks when he was drugged a lot, it wasn't that bad. I mean – yeah – he was empty and wordless, but he was pretty numb and couldn't feel much emotional pain. But now he was more ‚awake' so he could think more and .. feel more.
The first day after the reduction of the painkillers and a new batch of the other pills was hell. Billie was crying almost whole day. He cried, then he fell asleep. He woke up, cried and fell asleep again. It was killing me. I wanted to play some songs for him but he told me he had a headache and didn't want to listen to music. I was around – here for him. I tried to distract him, but he was avoiding me.
Everything changed at night. It was around 2:00 AM. We were in my (now more Billie's) bed. Some shitty movie ended and I turned off the TV.
„We should go sleep." I said. I was about to leave the room and go to the living room to sleep on sofa.
„Don't leave me." Billie whispered. He was lying with his arms around his shoulders.
„Billie, you need to rest. I snore sometimes, you know." I chuckled.
„Please." He said with a tiny voice.
I lay next to him. I hugged him and let his nose sink into me. He started crying again.
„Why am I such an asshole? I'm crying like a little baby. I'm an adult man, aren't I?"
„Lot of people have doubts about your age," I said as a joke, „but buddy, if you need to cry, just cry then. There's nobody except me. I won't tell anyone." I smiled and pulled him closer.
„Tré." He smiled faintly reacting to my joke. „I lost the love of my life, my 80." I felt his tears on my arm. „We argued a lot lastly." He sniffed. „But she was right. I'm so stupid. I ruined everything. I thought I was strong enough to went to another tour. Without all the shit. Clean. Normal. But I was a coward. I got out of practice. I mean – to sing and play in front of so many people. I was scared that I would fuck it up and fail. Beer helps actually. It brings me a courage. And now .. I replaced Adie with alcohol."
I couldn't help myself. My eyes filled with tears. I couldn't see him in so much pain. I loved this guy. But I needed to stay cool. Funny – I always stay Cool. He needed me. No crying, Tré, no weaknesses. Take care of him. He needs to know, that there's hope.
„Don't think that way," I whispered and swayed with him to calm him down, „you are fine. It's only the medicine. When you get well, it disappears."
„No, that's not it! When I stop taking the pills, Adrienne will be still mad. I can't take it all back. It's not possible. I'll be still lonely."
„You're not lonely, Bill. We are here. Me and Mike. You know what? We can call him tommorrow. He'll be surely happy to hear you."
„I don't want to disturb him. He's on vacation with his wife and kids." He finally stop crying.
„I'm sure he'll find few minutes for you. Don't worry." I smiled.
„I'm a baggage. To everyone. Adrienne left me because I was her baggage. And now I'm yours." It warmed my heart. I know that he didn't mean it in this way but yeah.. He was mine. My tiny little fluffy whiny baggage. I loved it.
„You also have your own life. I shouldn't interfere in it. You're happily married."
That shocked me. Crap! Sara. I had a really big secret. Billie didn't know. Sara and I weren't actually together, but the story is quite more complicated ... so I had no time to think about it.
„Where is Sara by the way? I was so drugged and selfish that I didn't even notice her." Billie sat up.
„She... eh she...," I didn't know what to answer, „is on vacation too. Uhm, with her friend. Friend called ... Nadia. Friend Nadia. Vacation in Europe. Fun, huh?"
„Oh," Billie said, „you didn't mention that. Or maybe you did, sorry, I was out of mind lastly."
I didn't say anything. I just held him in my arms.
„Tré. I'm so lucky to have you, y'know..." He said after few minutes of silence.
„So do I," I dragged my hand along his arm, „now sleep. You must be exhausted."
„You'll be here, right? Promise me, that you'll not leave me tonight."
„I promise." I put the blanket on our bodies and played gently with his hair.
It took some time when Billie fell asleep, but when he finally did – I was here. Still holding him, still hugging him. And then, I fell asleep too.
