The Cow Maiden

Sir Higgles is a Cow Mathmagician

Suddenly, as if the pagan cow god, Kamadhenu, had heard her, an old, blue man walked up to her. 'My name is Sir Humphrey Kettle Tea Rain Methane Nitrogen Oxide Higglesbottom the 69th. What brings you to my humble abode?

'Why I am looking for a cow who is of royal descent and lathers in the moonlight to swallow me whole and transport me to Highcowville. Can you help me?"

"But, I am friendship deprived and in need of some entertainment If you can't answer my riddle, I'll feed you to my pack of hyenas!"

"Why I am tittering in my cow leather jodhpurs in anticipation. What a reasonable offer. Tell me good Sir Higgles, what mysterious riddle do you have in mind. Alas i must warn you, I won master cowriddlester for three consecutive years in kindergarten. Yes i had to do three years, cuz i failed the second and had to do a repeat. ONLY because i got the day and night manure mixed up."

"Why good cow maiden, it is as simple as they come: Divide x2 – 9x – 10 by x + 1"

"Oh dear Sir Higgles that seems awfully complex - i don't think my little pink brain cells can handle such alphabet lettering, since i only know from A to G. I could do it now "A,C,D,E,G"

"Oh little cow maiden please stay on task. I have an udder sweater knitting class in an hour and I hate being lazy- tardiness is what gets you killed these days. Those lovely udders won't get warm by themselves you know. The ox last week was late to knitting club and our instructor got so mad that she flogged him with the ox's dead's wife large intestine - quite brutal if i so myself." "Oh sir Higglesbottom, please don't set your hyenas on me. I'll do anything! I'm just trying to get to the cow castle."