Angela The Paradox #MemoirMonth

Lazy's Entry

ANGELA THE PARADOX (May is For Memoirs)

Lazy's Entry

Drawing, sketching, painting and other Art stuff preceded my passion for writing.

Before I made a conscious decision to pursue writing, I have already been writing about random stuffs. I ran a blog that contained all my thoughts about things. I had a myriad notebooks that were scribbled with notes. I even tried writing a novel and of course, it sucked. The first thing I have ever written after I decided to become a writer was about my walk to the school.

Cold morning. I started to fix and get myself ready for school. I bathed with lukewarm water but the season made it really cold as if the water was pricking me. I put on my blouse, buttoned it, and wore my skirt. I wore socks and shoes. After that, I took my breakfast and brushed my teeth while thinking of insignificant things. Finally, I went out of the house then a cold, Yuletide breeze blew my shampoo-ed hair. It was chilly and it caused my teeth to chatter.

My heels thudded against the cement while I walked silently to school. Blank-faced was I as I came in to school. Small puddles of water signified a rain went by.

That was it. Totally random and crappy.

Also, my sincerest apology to the Poets for trying.

     Pinching cheeks,

     Dancing floors,

     Raising shot glasses

     Up 'til dawn.

     Torn hymens at twelve,

     Babies at thirteen.

     Runaway groom-to-be,

     How sad the story.

     We are all walking towards nothingness.

I have this ambitious dream of being a self-published author. I wrote my first novel at the age of fourteen. It was a teen fiction but up until now, I haven't decided how to end it yet. I deleted my first work here in Wattpad (Fester, sci-fi novel) because it lacked a strong plot. Maybe I was just thinking about how the end shall carry through but I forgot to plan all the details. Aside from lacking a strong plot, I also lacked motivation.

I have a lot of dreams I wish to fulfill but it sounded as close to impossible since I am such a lazy person. I cannot seem to finish something. I wanted to be so damn successful but I don't know when or where to start.

I want to become successful but I am a lazy ass. Crazy, isn't it?

You see, I am a paradox myself. I am made up of every single bit of conflicting ideas. I am a classic double-decker club sandwich with toppings like pencils, markers, guitar, blueberry cheesecakes, cars, buildings, and galaxies. Today, I get ultimately motivated about writing then the next day, I would wish to scratch everything out.