Paladin

Chapter 17 - Part I

“Who are you, Sam of Haywood?”

Sam opened her mouth, prepared to weave another lie, and then shut it. She could tell Braeden that she was just a girl, perhaps a servant to a high born lady, or maybe the daughter of a lesser noble. Yes, she could convince him of that latter fiction, she was certain. She was a more than proficient liar; over the past five years, she had honed it into an art form. She’d been lying for so long – what was one more falsehood added to her already black slate? He knew that she was a woman. Wasn’t that enough?

But as she looked at Braeden – stoic Braeden, who so rarely let emotions rule him, Braeden, who had stabbed himself in the heart in order to save her without expecting anything in return, Braeden, who was her friend, or had been, at least – she couldn’t do it. He would hate her for who she was, but the unmistakable hurt in his eyes was her doing, and she’d be damned if she put it there again.

She took a deep breath and braced for the fallout. “Lady Samantha Haywood, daughter of His Grace, the seventeenth Duke of Haywood.”

Braeden dropped to the floor in a crouch and buried his head in his arms. “Gods damn it, Sam. Samantha.  Lady Samantha. I don’t even know what to call you anymore.”

“I’m just Sam,” she said in a small voice.

Braeden lifted his head to glare at her. “You were never ‘just Sam.’ Your father is one of the most powerful men in the country. And you’re Tristan’s--” He paused, shaking his head. “Gods damn it, this is messy.”

“I didn’t know,” Sam said. “The thing with Tristan, I didn’t know.”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters!” she cried. “I’m not a bad person, Braeden. I didn’t intentionally set out to hurt Tristan, or you, or anyone! I just wanted to be a Paladin more than anything.”

Braeden swore under his breath. “You’re a woman, Sam.”

“And you’re a demon!” she shot back.

Emotion flashed across Braeden’s face, but he hid it quickly. “What of it?”

“I’m not trying to be cruel, Braeden. What blood runs through your veins doesn’t matter to me. But you and I both know that there are people who would deny you the right to fight with the Paladins because of some accident of birth. Well, by some accident of birth I was born a woman. I can’t change that any more than you can change your parentage.”

“It’s not the same. We’re not the same,” said Braeden. “You were born with a purpose.”

“A purpose decided by my father! You haven’t allowed your father to dictate how you live your life. Why should mine?”

“My father is a gods damned demon!” Braeden shouted, rising from his crouched position. “Your father wanted to see you settled with a good man and have you serve the people of Haywood as only a woman can. How can you even make a comparison?” His fists were clenched by his sides and his chest expanded and contracted in quick, uneven breaths. Sam had never seen him so enraged.

She moved towards him until a scant inch separated their bodies and placed a hand over his heart. Braeden flinched at her touch, but did not move. “Our hearts beat to the same drum,” Sam said fiercely. “We hear the same calling, you and I.”

Braeden stared silently at where her palm met his chest, and she removed her hand self-consciously. “Why did you join the Paladins, Braeden?”

Braeden shook his head as though waking from a daze. “It’s complicated,” he said finally. “In part in penance, I suppose.”