Forever Gone ~ON HOLD~

Jason

I sat in the shower and let the burning hot water splash all over my face. Jessie had been gone for nearly a week. It was my fault he was dead, it was my fault he was gone. I wanted nothing more than to switch places with him. I wish I had let him drive, when he had asked too. But being the stubborn bitch I was I didn’t let him.  Why me? I only took my eyes of the road for a second and then before I knew it my brother was dead!
 

 I let the hot water burn my skin, it was nice feeling pain. It helped me cope with the fact that I murdered my brother, my best friend.

Mum hadn't talked to me since yelling at me in the hospital. Least to say she hated my guts, and I didn’t blame her. I've ruined so many people’s lives, I wanted nothing more than to go back in time and fix up all the stupid ass mistakes I made.

I hopped out of the shower and rapped the soft towel around me. I walked out of the bathroom and down the short hallway into my bedroom. I throw the towel onto the floor and pulled my old clothes over my head. Looking down I saw I had wet patches all over my stained top, from where I hadn't dried myself properly. I climbed onto my bed and hid under my covers. I was never going to leave my room again. 

I had only been home for a day. Every noise startled me and every car that drove by left me breathless. I had been expecting the police to come knocking at my door to take me to prison. But it hadn't happened yet.

I brought my knees up to my chin and pulled my blanket around me more tightly.  Jessie's dead body haunted me every night in my sleep. So I avoided going to sleep at all costs. I imagined the feel of his secure arms around me whispering in my ear that everything was all ok. I knew it wasn’t but the thought of Jessie telling me this made me feel a fraction better. I thought of his white toothed smile and his raspy laugh. I missed everything about him, his voice, his smell, his touch. I wanted my brother back and I wanted him now. Tears ran down my face as I silently screamed in pain.

Knock nock

I kicked my blanket of and sat up in my bed, all the while wiping the hot tears off my face. I slowly walked towards the front door. I knew this was going to be the police and this time there was nobody to help me. I had murdered my brother and sooner or later I would be charged with man slaughter. I rested my hands on the door and took a deep breath. God, if there was anything I could do at that moment I would have done it. I wished that I could run away and hide form the world for eternity, but I couldn’t.

I slowly opened the door and peeked my head through the crack, only to jump back and slam the door on the persons face. This was not the police; this was an all-around normal guy. At least he seemed like it. I looked down at my grotty clothes and mentally smacked myself in the head.  I opened up the door again to find the guy leaning against the verandah post. Oh my sweet lord, he was gorgeous. He had perfect straight teeth, beautiful green eyes and muscles to die for.  And I looked like some sloppy, piece of shit teenage girl that didn’t know how to look presentable at all.

I looked at him; he was beautiful in every way possible. But his features were covered in darkness. He didn’t look happy at all.

"My name is Jason, I knew your brother Jessie," he paused half expecting me to say something, but I couldn’t, I was frozen. I was scared of what he might say to me. Everyone in town probably knew by now that it was my fault Jessie was dead.
"We went to boarding school together," Jason stared at me as I let out a giant sigh. I gestured my hand towards the living room and invited him in.

"I will be right back," I quickly said as I ran up the stairs towards my bedroom. I didn’t give him time to answer before I slammed my bedroom door. I pulled off my clothes and dug through my closet for something clean, finding my favourite jeans and a pink T-shirt. I grabbed my brush of the floor and pulled it through my wet blond curls. I still didn’t look perfect but at least I didn’t look like a hobo.

I walked into the family room, finding Jason on my mum’s favourite couch. I smiled and sat on the chair opposite him. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Jessie was a great friend he didn't deserve to die at such a young age," Jason said. I didn’t want to cry and I definitely didn’t want to seem like a giant whimp. But I couldn’t help it. I put my head in my hands to cover my face. My chest was heavy and I was tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I was trying to gulp in air but I was crying way too much.  I felt Jason sit on the chair next to me and put his arm around me.

"I miss him," I whispered. My crying hadn't slowed if anything it had gotten worse. Blood was all I could smell now, Jessie's blood. The image of his dead body reached into my mind. I tried to reach for him again only to fail and start screaming out his name. I forgot where I was, who I was. I was confused and wanted nothing more than to die.

Jason pulled me into him and buried his face in my hair. I circled my arm around his waist and pulled him closer. No one had comforted me since waking up in the hospital; it felt nice to know someone actually cared that I was in pain too.

I heard the front door slam and jumped away from Jason. Mum walked in and glared at me. Jason stood up and introduced himself. 

"Nice of you to come down and help with the funeral arrangements Jason, I know that Jessie would be very happy for you to be here" she whispered at him before turning to look at me. "As for you Emily, I don’t want to see your face ever again. I hate you; I wish it was you that had died and not Jessie. This is all your fault. You’re a screw up and if you want to stay in this house hope that you don’t screw up anymore or you will be out on that street with no one in the world to help you. Now get out of my sight," she screamed at me with tears running down her face. I ran out of the room and up the stairs into my bedroom. I slammed my door and kicked it had hard as I could.

I screamed an awful loud pitched squeal and threw myself onto my bed before crying myself to sleep.

***

I woke up to someone knocking on my door. I ignored it, if mum wanted to scream at me some more she could forget it. I heard the door creak open and then quietly shut. I was looking out my window and my back was facing the door.  Someone sat on the edge of my bed and gently rested their hand on my hip.

"Emily," this was defiantly not mums voice, unless she had turned into a man. I turned around to see dad staring at me. Mum and dad broke up when I was five years old. I haven't seen him since I went off the rails.

He looked at me before saying, "you can’t tell anyone, anything about what happened when Jessie died. When you were in the hospital they sent your DNA off for testing. I swapped it for a clean sample of yours, if I hadn't they would have been able to tell that you were drunk when you crashed. Let’s just hope they don’t find out, or else I will lose my job at the hospital."

Why would he do that for me? He hated me, maybe even hated me just as much as mum. And just like he read my mind he responded, "Your still my daughter, you will always be. I know that it would have been what Jessie wanted. So as long as you don't tell anyone about being drunk when you crashed you will be safe," and with that dad left without another word.

It was pretty clear that he did it for Jessie and not me, honestly I didn’t care.  The one thing that really pissed me off though, was that my own father complained about the fact he could get caught out, what the hell? If he thought that was going to be a problem then why did he do it? I hate him, I hate my mum but most importantly I hate me…

ok, so what do you think?? im a bit nervous about this chapter...

comments are much apprecitated, and so are votes haha

thanks x