LOVE ME.

four.

hi everyone! it's worldwide handsome day! seokjin, we love you so much, and we appreciate you as one of the bangtan members and just as a person. we hope you have a great birthday!!

warning; there is a scene/mention of cutting in this chapter. if you're uncomfortable with this topic, please read at your own risk. i don't want any of you guys to feel uncomfortable in any way!

and did you guys see the thing about taekook having hickeys? 

---

both taehyung and jeongguk froze. 

what's jeongguk doing here?

jeongguk scanned taehyung quickly, acknowledging his red and puffy eyes before attempting to exit the tense restroom, but taehyung was too quick. the now-moving boy had grabbed the rough boy's skinny wrist, tugging lightly on it. he didn't want to tug on it too hard, since he would never want to hurt his kookie. no matter how much he hurt him.

"what do you want, taehyung? shouldn't you be in class? wow, you're really doing every thing wrong. you're a gay hoe and you're skipping class. loser." jeongguk let the harsh words fall out of his mouth and echo off the walls, not caring if the the boy in front of him had started tearing up, his eyes darting to the tiles beneath him.

"k-kookie..." 

"don't fucking call me that! i don't know why you act like we're friends. grow up. you must think you can cling to me since we were close when we were younger, but you can't. hell, jimin was always my favorite, anyway." the once-friendly boy's eyes were cold and held a dark glare toward the whimpering boy in front of him.

"why... why are you acting so cold to me kook- jeongguk? i don't remember doing anything to you! we used to be best friends... what happened? we can talk it out, i promise!" the whimpering boy tried hard to keep his gaze on the latter, but the pooling tears could not-would not end.

"'for fucks sake! just leave me the fuck alone, taehyung! why can't you be like jimin?! you're so fucking annoying. stop talking to me, and forget we were ever friends."

jeongguk spat the toxic words at the boy who looked like a kicked puppy, leaving him with one last push to the ground.

the sad boy crouched on the ground and doubled over. taehyung started to sob, it wasn't like this before. the two boys used to be inseparable, sticking to each other like glue.

what did i do to him, to make him be like this?

why is jimin so perfect?

why can't i be like jimin?

why can't jeongguk love me, like i've loved him, for so long...

jeongguk, love me.

jeongguk, love me like you used to.

after drying off his salty tears for a second time, taehyung left the cold, smoke-smelling bathroom and walked to the small nurse's office right around the hallway. he would ask his friends to help him tend his bruise, the purple and dark-green now forming in big splotches, but the thing was, he had no friends. hoseok, a once-bright and energetic boy, had left him, wanting to follow the rest of taehyung's now-past group of friends. jimin and jeongguk had already left him for an unknown reason. two other boys, namjoon and yoongi, left taehyung after figuring out he was gay. 

god, why am i even thinking of them? they don't miss me, they left me. they never helped me in the first place.

entering the nurse's office, taehyung's face crinkled into one of disgust. the room's scent was a mixture of sex, medicine, and the strong smell of isopropyl alcohol. taking a roll of gauze and salonpas-smelling ointment, he squeezed a ribbon-sized amount on his wrinkly (from the amount of times he rubbed his wet eyes) fingers and rubbed it over the dark bruise forming on his thigh. he took a sharp amount of scissors, staring longingly at the silver blade. 

don't do it, taehyung. you've been cut-free for a whole month! besides, you don't want any one to be suspicious. it'll be over in a week, anyway. 

gingerly taking the silver blade away from pressing against his wrist, he cut the thick roll of gauze and taped his bruise, warming the layer of ointment covering the array of purple and green.

putting the needed materials away into their cabinets, taehyung quietly exited the room. bumping into the school nurse, kim seokjin, both had apologized. explaining the situation to seokjin, the nurse had written a school excuse for taehyung to leave.

walking home on the cracked sidewalk, taehyung entered his home and quietly went upstairs. his room was quite bare, the walls a pale, off-white color. he had the essentials: a bed, a chest of drawers, a desk and lamp, and a bathroom connected to his room. his mom worked hard, working the night shift for the family. his father died when taehyung was only six years-old. at the time, jeongguk helped taehyung cope with his death, comforting him when he would cry with forehead kisses and cuddle hugs.

that was never going to happen again, was it?

taehyung sighed heavily, he was tired of living. he didn't have anything to live for, his father dead, his mother not paying attention to him (although she loved him deeply, she was just too busy), and his friends who left him. those were all the things he treasured, yet he was never shown any type of affection back.

the boy walked to the side of his bed, the framed photo of jeongguk and taehyung standing on his desk. the photo wasn't dusty, because he treasured it. both he and jeongguk had the same copy of the photo, both framed. the picture consisted of taehyung and jeongguk on their playground, laughing and smiling together. 

a tear fell from taehyung's precious eyes, he missed jeongguk so much. falling on his bed, wincing from the impact of his bruise on the mattress, his eyes closed slowly. 

he was exhausted, both mentally and physically.

jeongguk's pov;

"j-jimin! faster, baby!"

moans and groans filled the air of jeongguk's bedroom, his mattress bumping against the almost-dented wall.

"j-jeongguk, i'm- ah!"

in the midst of it all, jimin and jeongguk's high made a certain object fall to the dusty ground. 

the small photo frame of both taehyung and jeongguk on the playground fell, the photo falling under the dark space of the bed, hidden by the pile of clothes strewn across the floor.

---

hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! i'm so proud of myself, i wrote more than 1k words!! the part where jikook was having it, i was lowkey cringing while writing it. nothing against those who ship it, i just don't ship jikook.

 but why did jeongguk even have that photo up anyways? hmm

comments and votes are appreciated!

i love you all, i hope you gave a great day!