The bittersweet addiction

While You Were Sleep

     I wake up and roll over,no Birdie it's not like my boring old life this is the new one. I peek at the clock it's 5:30 in the morning even the birds are still sleeping, getting out of bed I walk towards my office placing the stack of papers I fell asleep on last night on my desk. Suddenly it's so clear I couldn't run an empire alone or even at all,if I wanted things to be right I gotta have the right team to do it.
      I head down the hallway towards Birdie's room knocking lightly before entering. I know he'd still be sleep I slipped a couple sleeping aids in his drink last night,his chocolate body laid there soundly asleep he's getting better he's getting stronger. Walking towards the balcony windows i admire the fresh snow covering all the trees and even the lake that sat outside our cabin, I can't remember for the life of me why my father stopped taking us to the lake but I sure don't remember it being this beautiful.
"What the view from your room isn't good enough?" Birdie stands behind me wrapping his arms around my waist, he feels just how I remember.
"Actually I needed to ask you something."
"Well sure sweetie wassup."
He hold me still his body so calm his heartbeat is so steady, I can't deny I feel deeply about him but he' could also be a enemy like my father always said friends aren't promised in this game.
"What happened? The night you got shot."
Birdie let's go of me and walks away turning around I can see him getting back into bed, he looks towards me with fear and pain in his eyes will he lie or will he tell the truth either way it goes I'll know one way or another. I stand in the sunshine for a minute he doesn't ask me to come over he just lays there.
"Birdie are you gonna tell me or not remember you have to be truthful no matter what."
He just stares straight ahead not looking doesn't even look like he's breathing, I walk towards him but he doesn't say anything.
"Look you don't have to tell me now if your not ready.." walking out the room "... but you'll tell me one way or another."

Sitting at my desk I'm stuck in a daze how could he keep such a secret from me and I'm helping him,but I know it's like the say way I'm keeping my secrets.
Benzo: everything is set
Me: keep things steady till I come back okay
Benzo: no worries about that how is he?
Me:I'll talk more later I love you and call if you need me
Birdie walks into my office holding a splif in one hand and a bottled water in the other,he sits in the chair and lights the splif blowing the smoke in my face.
"What can I help you with Birdie?"
"What did you do?"
I give him a puzzled look then shift in my seat ,I adjust my skirt eyeing him trying to figure him out.
"What are you talking about Birdie "
"So I look stupid right Kenzo..." he bangs his fist against my desk which startled me causing me to flinch "... how the fuck you get all this and don't lie."
I begin to form tears do I tell him the truth " Birdie I don't want you to be upset with me but I got it from your friend M..." he looks at me then pulls from the splif
"Go on."
"...the day the shooting happened I killed him that's where I disappeared off too, he threatened me hours before I showed up to your house I took what took him years to build in seconds because he said he'd kill my brother and my father if I let you disappear that business you know that little side hustle to get you out once you would of made your goal he was going to kill you."
Birdie looks at me with fury then shakes his head, he gets up from the chair and stands behind me massaging my shoulders. What a scary moment for me but I was prepared for anything he had to offer.
"M ordered a couple of people to kill you he thought you were bound to run off seeing I was home he threatened to take you and my family out so I did it before he could I took everything and just as soon as I was going to bring it to you your in a coma a day later Birdie I built this empire on my own."
Birdie says nothing he continues to massage my shoulders running his hands up and down my neck it feels so good.
"Birdie while you were sleeping I had to keep things going no one ever takes orders from a women unless she has bodies but see I have that power we can have that power I killed for this all the dumbass dudes you hung out with you know Charlie,Dime,and money they all work for me now ."
Birdie begins to squeeze my neck he's chocking me is he trying to kill me?
"See you fucked everything up..." he squeezes harder "...I knew that muthfucka was setting me up why you think I kept his ass alive for so long."
I cannot breath at this point "you ruined everything Kenzo that was my doing not yours."
He beings walking towards the door but he stops and shakes his head turning to look at me tears flowing from my face like raindrops falling from a window I was truly hurt. While he was sleeping I also took over Charlottes right from under his nose I'm a goddess and no one ignores me even if I'm killing to get it.
"Give everything to me I'll deal with it."
Chuckling at him I run my hands across my neck I'm in so much pain why would he do this to me?
"I can't unless my father or you are dead I killed the man who put a bounty on my fathers head..." I get up from my desk walking towards him now the tears won't stop the pain it won't stop I feel betrayed by him I did all this for us.
"Now it's either you kill my father or he kills you and if you think for a moment I'd let either happen your damn wrong now get the fuck out my office."
Birdie never returned to my office that night, he didn't even speak to me he sat in his room all night long not a single sound coming from his room one day he'll see it my way.