melancholy | egd.

four weeks before

[ january 24 of 2018 - four weeks before ]
vivian | chapter one: stage one

GRAYSON DOLAN's laughter erupted in the almost quiet classroom. his hand slapped against the desk as his laughter progressively began getting louder and longer, whatever was joked must've been extremely amusing to him. as the minutes go back, tears have far but welled up in his eyes and his brother had shortly joined in.

miss. paterson stopped short from writing on the chalkboard and turned to glare at the pair of twins. "mr. dolan, both dolan's, please quiet down."

ethan quietly mumbled an apology as he and his twin ceased to pure quietness. their attention went back to the work book that sat in front of them, one that they haven't even taken the time before now to even peer at. a few puffs in annoyance and tapping without any sort of rhythm against their wood desk, grayson was back to being a distraction.

"there's no way that you can evenly balance that pencil on the bridge of your nose!" ethan hissed at grayson. "vivie tell grayson he can't possibly be able to balance that pencil."

grayson scoffed at ethan. "rivers, please tell him you have one hundred percent belief that i can do this."

"why am i always the diversity of your problems?" vivian tossed her strawberry-colored hair off her shoulder and turned fully to behind her, grayson being perk up in his seat. "you can barely walk straight without stumbling against your own foot, what makes you think you can balance a pencil?"

"you know it's rude not to act like you have any confidence in your friends?" grayson

"i'm friends by association, i didn't really have a choice. ethan advised me that it was a two-for-one deal, explained that no one wanted to be your friend and this was the only way to help you actually get any." vivian stated as if it would've been obvious.

"yeah, yeah. sorry viv, i thought grayson would've been a cooler person knowing he'd scored such a sweet friend but i guess not." ethan agreed.

grayson gawked at the two, not believing what he was hearing. he shook his head and went back to trying to balance the pencil. he knew the only person he needed to believe in him was himself. "whatever, i don't need you two losers called 'friends' anyways."

"if we're a couple of losers, i can only imagine what lower-class you are. maybe even to be referred as a nerd?" ethan teased as he laughed at grayson's mortified face.

"god, not even they would want to be associated with such an uncool person."

"fuck you guys." grayson sneered as he turned back to glare at the book in front of him. his eyebrows furrowed in concentration and utter confusion of the words that were spilled in front of him. in annoyance, grayson shoves his book closed and stared forward as he avoid any contact with ethan or vivian.

in the middle of watching grayson's actions unfold, vivian soon felt scorned. she felt worthless, like her existence didn't matter. vivian had no clue were the sudden melancholy feeling was coming from and why it has been recently effecting her. at random points of her day, she could be at her all time high and in a second be in her all time low.

vivian's eyes darted lowly staring at the marble flooring. her eyes shifted to looking at people's shoes to the leg of the tables. her thoughts were slowly consuming her, thoughts that have never crossed her mind. thoughts like how would life be if she just...disappeared?, would anyone even notice her disappearance? or would anyone care enough to look after her?

ethan waved his hands in front of vivian, trying to capture her attention. her before thoughts were scattered, maybe even gone. just like that. "hey viv, you good? the bell rang like five minutes ago."

"hmm?" hummed vivian in response. "yeah, yep i'm fine. sorry."

vivian shoved the few notebooks and loose papers into his velvet crushed book bag, where an even bigger mess laid. she swung a book strap onto his broad shoulders before feeling up against her pockets, making sure her phone was already in there. with satisfaction she nodded before handing out of the classroom, with both boys next to her. "so, as i was explaining before..."

grayson's voice was zoned out completely, in fact everything surrounding vivian in this instance wasn't alive. the only word to describe what she was utterly feeling was: darkness, almost like the art of feeling alone. even having two wonderful and amazing people of friend that meant the world to her, still weren't enough to feel the hole she had stored in her.

she soon experienced the feeling of all her energy being drained. she felt tired, like all she wanted to do was lay in her bed and sleep. the thought of being in her room alone and laying there brought happiness to her, two of her favorite things.

"rivers, are you sure you're doing okay? you haven't said a word since we left class."

"oh um, yeah. sorry guys just really feeling without energy and tired." vivian deeply sighed as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"have you been getting a good night sleep?" laced with concern asked ethan. "how many solid hours do you get? actually, do you take naps when you get home?"

"maybe four to five hours, maybe? i don't know i just know i go to sleep when i feel tired and wake up at the assigned time." answered vivian. "i usually take one nap, but also two naps depending how stressed and tired i am from school. knowing that, i'm always stressed  you can never predict when assignments will be made and due."

"you need to relax and let go sometimes. i know a great place in where you can relax!" ethan exclaimed as grayson nodded next to vivian.

"like what?" perked vivian.

"a spa date, with your two favorite guys." grayson pointed two fingers, one to himself and one to ethan. both had the most goofiest smile as they happily wiggle their eyebrows. "what do you say?"

"what the heck, sure."