melancholy | egd.

four days before

[ march 4 of 2018 - four days before ]
ethan | chapter four: mid-breaking point

VIVIAN FISHER refused to be seen by anyone, including ethan and grayson. actually scratch that, vivian made it her priority to not cross paths with either of them to avoid having a conversation with them. vivian rarely left her house or even had any sort of contact with anyone, she would come home and curl into her bed while watching the office till midnight. it was always that or sleeping her whole afternoon away, either way she isn't the same person she was a month ago.

vivian laid under her grey pom-fringe duvet while she watched an episode of season four of the office. the wind howled hushed through her window and into the silence household. it was so quiet, it almost made her believe her mom had left hours ago without vivian taking notice.

a soft knock rapped on her wooden door before her mom poked her head in. she smiled sweetly at vivian, who was still enjoying the marathon of the office. "hey baby, i made your favorite food. come join me downstairs and we can catch up on the missed episodes."

"sorry, mom i'm too tired to do either of those things." sighed vivian.

"you okay, baby? you've been leaving less and eating close to nothing, you never eat any of the meals i put out for you."

"i apologize mom, i've been getting street food before coming home now." vivian lied. the truth was she felt fat and with this voice constantly reminding her that she was fat, wasn't helping.

"oh okay," nodded her mom. "by the way, some boy named 'ethan' came by asking for you."

"what did you tell him? did you tell him the thing i told you to tell to anyone that asks me?"

"...i ushered him inside and then offered him some soup, the poor boy was soaking wet waiting for you to come out." responded her mom. "i'll send him up later when he finishes, do me a favor and fetch him some warm clothes. i don't want him to catch a cold on my behalf."

"mom! i told you to make up lies about these types of situation, theres a reason i don't talk to the kids from school anymore." groaned vivian, throwing herself back against her pillow. "they're all so boring and annoying."

"nonsense, this boy is a sweet young man. i've spent the past hour talking to him and he's shown nothing but respect and manners towards me. i will not tolerate any slander against him." vivian's mom argued back.

"but mo—" vivian started.

"i don't want to hear another word from you either, fetch some of your brothers old clothes and give them to him." scolded her mom.

"honestly, if i were you i'd marry this boy. he's a keeper, you'll never find a man who'll show equal affection towards you and your mother." muttered her mom as she walked out, making sure to shut the door behind her.

shortly another bundle of soft knocks sounded on her door. this time instead of it being her mom, it was ethan. "hey vivie, your mom let me in."

ethan stood before her bed dripping, his hair was a mop. her white shirt cling onto his body, carving out some of his muscles. vivian couldn't help but stare, not many occasions come where he's able to see either of the twins toned body. a rare occasion she took advantage of.

"so your mom said something about warm clothes?" ethan recalled.

vivian stopped gazing at his body and tore her attention to his face. she nodded and hurriedly walked next door, with her brother's stuff still remained untouched. she rummaged through the dresser, where she grabbed some black sweatpants with the lettering 'hollister' going down and grey sweatshirt. she quickly back into her room where she was greeted to a half naked ethan.

"hope you don't mind, i took off my clothes. i couldn't stand being in such drenched clothings." ethan embarrassingly said as he awkwardly covered his bulge. "do you happen to have a extra towel? it wouldn't feel right just switching clothes like this."

vivian passed the clothings and a blue towel to ethan, who gratefully took it and went into the bathroom. vivian stood for a while, hoping ethan wouldn't take too long but eventually gave up and went back to bed. ethan came back, fully dressed in the clothing that was given to him and a damp head.

ethan laid next to her, saying nothing just staring at the screen for a few seconds, "i heard you, by the way."

"heard what?"

"heard you speak to your mom about how you didn't like grayson or i." ethan remarked. "if you felt this way, you could've told us sooner and we would've left you alone."

"lis—"

"how long?"

"how long what?" vivian inquired.

"how long have you disliked us and acted like you loved us to our face?" ethan voice croaked. his subtle green eyes glistened under the muted sun light that came through her window.

"since never." vivian answered with tears welling up. "i've always admired you guys, i never regret meeting you guys."

"so why'd you say it?"

"i don't know honestly, i've been saying things and instantly regretting them. that's why i've been avoiding you at school, i sometimes feel like this like feeling overpowering my body and making me do these things i wouldn't normally wouldn't."

"like what?"

vivian deeply sighed as she raked her hair back from her face. "i don't know how to explain, you probably wouldn't even understand it."

"how are you so sure i wouldn't understand? or haven't gone through what you're going through?" ethan said defensively.

vivian stayed quiet, instead she looked out the window and wished the ground would swallow her whole. she was she was somewhere or someone else, so she wouldn't have to deal with having to explain to ethan the dark matter that followed her, haven't been able to go to bed without having a minimum of one (1) breakdown, or the fact she hasn't had a real meal in over a week. she drastically lost weight and even losing twenty pounds, she still felt like vshe wasn't near her goal.

"if you don't want to talk, which i understand and won't push further on, we can just watch those tv shows you've been bugging to binge watch."