Worthless (Niall Horan)

Chapter 19

We remained in our embrace until I managed to stop the tears falling from my eyes. One by one they slowly pulled away except for Niall. He looked at me and cupped my face with his large hands. He let his fingers travel the tracks my tears had left and he wiped away any stray ones. I let a weak smile creep onto my lips and Niall hugged me once more nuzzling his face in my neck. "I'll never let him hurt you, never ever again." He whispered into my neck, his breath sending shivers down my spine. His face left my neck and he turned to the boys to tell them to leave for a minute. It was strange seeing the boys go from crazy, loud and silly to being so quiet. They walked out of the room and Niall turned to me. "I think you should tell them... But not just them, Liam, Louis, Zayn and Harry too." He muttered his head bowed down. He knew I wasn't going it like what he was saying, and he was right.

"Niall it's not that simple I'm not just going to open up to them, plus I've already told Liam kind of and that didn't go well!" I ranted a little.

"Jessie I've known these lads for a while and I can promise you that they will not share it with anyone who doesn't need to hear it." His blue eyes bore into my hazel ones and it was very reassuring but I have always been known as stubborn, before I learned the consequences from my father.

"No, why do they need to know anyway?!?" I shot back. He sighed.

"I just think it's best so that they know what not to say, what if they mention something in public and it triggers and then you're all over the news and then they want to know off us and then it's spread everywhere AND THEN you're dad will come and find you!" He worriedly exclaimed running a hand through his hair. "I just wanna protect you." His voice softened. He had a point. I remained silent. "I want to know more about it." He added and looked at me hopefully.

"Ok." I agreed holding my head up.

"Ok?" He asked.

"Ok." I nodded.

"It's gonna be fine I promise." He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"I hope you're right." I said entwining our fingers and pulling him into the living room. When we got in the boys were sat on the couches around the room with their elbows rested on their knees. "So you guys are probably wondering what happened back there huh?" I began, Niall squeezing my hand urging me to go on. "Ever since I was eleven years old, my dad started to abuse me." Their elbows dropped from their knees and they sat up straight, shocked. I nodded "It started off with just beatings but then as he got more alcohol influenced he would go as far as locking me in the cellar for three days, telling my mum I had stayed at a friends house. Other days he would force me to cook or even go as far as forcing me to self harm so he could watch me in pain. Some days if I was more than 2 minutes late home he would pour salt into my hand and crunch ice into it, hence where this burn came from," I held up my hand. They all seemed so shocked and Ashton, Luke and Niall had started to cry. "The other day I was making tea for him and my mum whilst she was at work and he pushed me making me drop the pasta and glass bowl on the floor. He swore at me and called me foul names." I had began crying myself now. I recomposed my self before starting again. "He chased me with his branding rod and that is how I got this." I held up my trouser leg revealing the ugly word that had been printed on my leg. Luke, Ashton, Calum and Michael gasped, I dropped my trouser leg bringing my hands back up to my eyes. "Throughout my life I have been diagnosed with an eating disorder, which I was able to overcome whilst still dealing with abuse of my dad." I sighed. "That is my life." I finished. Luke stood up and hugged me.

"You are so incredibly strong." He croaked through his tears. "I'm sorry for before...I... I didn't know..."

"Luke it was not your fault." I reassured him. He went back to his seat and slumped down. He rubbed his cheeks.

"Thank you..." Ashton muttered.

"What for?" I asked slightly confused.

"Staying strong..." He added almost distantly, like he was in deep thought.

SO THERES CHAPTER 19 I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS! IF ANY OF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH SELF HARM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MESSAGE ME! I CAN HELP, I HAVE HAD A FRIEND WHO CUT! PLEASE SAY STRONG I LOVE YOU AND I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE A QUICK SHOUTOUT TO TWO PEOPLE! ONE IS MissMelB WHO VOTES FOR EVERY CHAPTER AND HAS BEEN REAL SUPPORTIVE (PLEASE CHECK OUT HER LIAM FANFIC CALLED SHES A NOBODY, ITS REALLY GOOD.

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