BAIRN: Matty Healy

101917

October 19th, 2017

     I hadn't seen anyone in nearly a week, except for Maisie, of course.   
     After dinner at my mum's, I brought her back home with me—mostly because I felt guilty for all the time we'd spent apart since Matty came back—partly because, from my point of view, the evening went horribly. Besides, Louis and Denise probably enjoyed Matty's company without the unwavering responsibility of sitting an infant.

     Reyna had pestered the two of us the entire evening, it was a nightmare. She was drunk and rambling, despite George constantly plucking wine glasses from her shaking hands, to which she retaliated by replacing them with regular glasses, and mugs.
     "You should move back home, Mae," she sighed and rolled her shoulders, a menacing grin lying upturned across her carefully painted, rosey lips. I watched her eyes dart around the room and land across from her, "you too, Matthew. Maybe Mesa would stop complaining then, and you could actually be parents."

     Biting my lip furiously, I followed my mother's previous gaze to Matty's. He was beside me, on my left, sitting quietly, with George—the closest of us to my mum—on his left. I studied his face, searching for some kind of reaction; he'd only just gotten here, and my mum was already making him feel guilty. Though, we all knew she adored him unconditionally.
     "I think we're doing just fine," he cleared his throat, "we're all getting on, aren't we?"

     His jaw was clenched tightly, and it took every ounce of self-control I had in me not to slip my hand beneath the table and run circles into the denim clinging to his thighs—it noticeably calmed him down each time. Matty had even told me once, when we were just sitting ducks in his backyard, that he liked it when I did that.

George leaned forward, his chest a safe distance from the hold he had on the edge of the table. He didn't know what to say or do, but, like me, he felt like he should be doing something. I was used to the catastrophic tendencies my mum had—all of us, give or take Louis (knowing some of what she'd done in the past) and Maisie (terribly oblivious, and rightfully so) had experienced her harsh judgment.
She was my mother, and she had put up with me longer than a parent should have to. I loved her for loving and nurturing me, but I wish she'd let me make decisions for my daughter the way I saw fit. Without complaints.

"I suppose, but you're not a family, you don't act like it, and that's what Maisie needs. Don't you think so?" She nudged Denise, whose eyes widened at the unexpected grapple into the conversation.
"Well... Reyna, I think they're-"
"Actually mum, Matty and I were discussing it last night," both George and Matty squinted their eyes at me, "and I'm moving to London with dad and Gracie. Until I can afford a flat."

I bit my lip, taking in their expressions,
"Oh."
"Yes mum. Now can we get on with dinner? I didn't agree to come here so you could criticize every little fucking thing I have to offer."
"When are you-"
"Are you having a laugh, mum?" I scoffed, pushing off of the table, bracing myself for the screech of synthetic wood on authentic.
"Shut the fuck up! I can't believe you. He just got back home, and you're practically driving him away from Maisie. Are you dim?"

Matty firmly gripped my wrist and shot me a questioning look, an eyebrow raised, and concern etched across his features. I shut my eyes, tilting my head back.
"I need some air," I mumbled; tugging my wrist free and maneuvering around the chairs in my pursuit to make it upstairs. "Air" was my way of telling them I was leaving, and even though Matty's silence was his way of saying "we need to talk," I was thankful that he didn't come after me.
He didn't know how to.

It went horribly—I couldn't help but feel that is was my fault, my mum only wanted the best for me. And I took that for granted.

"Mumma," Maisie cooed, crawling onto the comforter. She snuggled up in my lap and smiled at me,
"Hello poppet, I thought you were watching telly in the lounge. Boring, isn't it?" I grinned back, receiving only a simple nod and hum in response.

We hadn't left the flat in a couple of days but she didn't mind, she liked playing on the rug and eating animal crackers all day. I appreciated her leniency, she'd been quite understanding, really—as understanding as a toddler could be—she wasn't fussy, nor did she complain in the slightest. Maisie understood.
And that, too, I felt incredibly guilty for.

A soft knocking pulled me away from my thoughts, and I realized I'd been staring at a stain in my shirt since Maisie had settled down. I readjusted her comfortably on my chest and slowly stood up, starting towards the door, and wondering which of the two people that had pummelled my life with extreme complications it would be.
I peeked through the peephole and unlatched the lock—Matthew. Not the one I was expecting, if I'm honest, but logically, a visit from him would sprawl out far better than one with Reyna.

"You need to stop showing up unannounced," I groaned as I swung the door open.
"Sorry Mace, I texted but I figured you've changed your number after an hour of radio silence." Matty looked down at Maisie, "Didn't mean to interrupt your cuddle session," he chuckled, gently plastering a goofy smile across his face. The same one that my tiny angel had shot me when she curled up against my cotton t-shirt.

"Get in," I rolled my eyes, widening the gap just enough for him to squeeze past, "So hospitable." He sniggered, leisurely waltzing over to my sofa. I followed him over, after shutting the door and turning the locks.
"Can I hold her?" Matty asked quietly, it was adorable how nervous he got around me when it came to our daughter. His demeanour had changed completely, and really, he had no reason for it, but I knew he was unsure of his place in our lives. I nodded happily, hoping the upturned corners of my lips projected comfort onto him,

"Of course, I've got to clean these toys up anyway." I neared him, softly tearing Maisie's sleepy grasp from my cardigan and passing her over to him.
Things were quiet for a moment—and for a moment, we felt like a family—our beautiful little girl let out a loud yawn and widened her eyes.

Matty and I looked at each other before bursting into our own respective fits of giggles as we peered down at Maisie.
This was something I planned on never forgetting.

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I loved writing this chapter a flippin lot, so I hope you liked it! Don't forget to vote and leave tons of comments!

All the love,
Ven.