BAIRN: Matty Healy

I am now in love

It's Ross, I love Ross uwu

"Yes, it's at 1:30," I repeated to him for what seemed like the twentieth time, "but—" "Matty, it's a damn birthday party for a baby at the park down the street, you don't even need to introduce yourself if you don't want to."

In his defence, he just didn't want to get anything wrong, and it was cute at first, but it was starting to get on my nerves the teensiest bit. "G will be there," I sighed, tucking a spare change of clothes for Maisie in the diaper bag, "and Helena has been dying to meet my baby daddy." Matty was slipping on Maisie's socks and shoes, one after the other, and he was awfully transparent for someone who hid every ounce of doubt in his back pocket. I could see the scowl on his face when I even mentioned the words 'baby' and 'daddy' in the same sentence. "Don't ever call me that again," he lifted Maisie up to her feet, "daddy," she cooed, almost mockingly at this point. "Yes baby," I laughed, "that's right my little satirical angel," I brushed my thumb over her soft, pink cheeks.

"I hate both of you," Matty huffed, standing up to fetch her jacket from the coat rack across the room and rushing back before Maisie could start with her usual circles around the couch. I knelt down beside her this time and poked at her sides, an instant giggle fit, "Daddy loves it when we feel bad for him, doesn't he?" I looked up to see a nearly grinning Matty reaching over me in his feeble attempt to trap her in her little orange bomber jacket. Naturally, he had picked it out to match his own ill-fitting one, he'd been so excited for her to try it on since he'd found it by chance in a shop when he visited New York, and once we actually managed to get her into it, she loved it.

   "Right then, are we set?"

   Matty sighed this time, "Should do," he pulled me up with him, bouncing slightly with Maisie clinging to his side. I couldn't help but admire the pair as I brushed my knees off, they looked so good together, like all hell would break loose if they were ever separated. The way they looked at each other couldn't be mistaken for anything but true love, and that was the beautiful thing about them. That—loving truly, fully, unconditionally—she had gotten from the both of us.

   Five minutes and we'd successfully made it out of the building with a diaper bag chock full of toddler friendly snacks, nappies, and a fuzzy blanket we agreed to just play off as a picnic blanket in our unnecessary rush out the door. Matty had even helped me strap on the carrying harness, after insisting he had to have a go at wearing it later, and of course, I agreed, only because I wanted to snap a few photos of him with it on. Having him around again was really, really nice, and his helping out all the time was a huge mountain of stress off my shoulders. Less work for me, and he seemed to really enjoy it.

A fucking lot.

Matty was so excited to be doing it too, spending every day with his daughter, with me, back home. As much as he liked to hide from the world, he was ready to be a dad, and he had been for years prior to Maisie's birth, always raving about his nieces and nephews whenever he got the chance, jumping on the permanent baby fever train. He just wasn't ready to fully commit to being a parent, he wasn't ready to leave the opiates behind and let the past be the past.

   "I need a smoke," he mumbled, swinging the bag up to his elbow. "Okay, just walk behind us a bit?" Matty nodded and slowed his pace a bit, "So, have you thought about London any more?" I dangled my hand in front of Maisie and smiled when she wrapped hers around my finger, "A little..." I trailed off, "if- if I can find a nice flat or something like that, might make things easier, y'know?" I looked back at him, he nodded, a glorified clove between his lips, I'd have to nick one off of him later. "You're always welcome to stay with me," I shook my head as soon as the words left his mouth, "Matty, I'm not moving in with you and your girlfriend however wonderful that may sound. I do miss Allen loads though."

   "That's as good a reason as ever—" "We both know it's not," I laughed. Matty tossed his cigarette and I stomped it out as we crossed the street. "I'll help you find a place, hell, I'll pay for it. I just want my two favourite people close to me, closer than a 3 hour drive I can only make once a month and only when I'm in the country. I hate to say I need you because I fully want this to be a decision you make on your own, without any influence, but...I function so much better with you beside me. Sometimes phone calls aren't enough."

   He was guilt-tripping me, again.

   "Then what is enough, Matty? Inserting myself in a relationship I'm not part of, nor do I have the grounds to be part of? Want me to grope your skinny blonde model girlfriend too while I'm at it? When will it be enough—"

   "I'm not asking you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, Mesa!" Matty stood still now, so we were just out of earshot from Helena and the entire playground, "I'm just asking you to think about it..." I didn't say anything, I just nodded and took his hand, pulling him forward towards the bubbly children, all scattered across the little metal structure that was really a safety hazard in itself.

   "Okay, I know," I whispered just before approaching my best, and to be quite honest, only friend, in Manchester at least, who sat happily on a park bench.

   "Hey Lena!" I tapped her shoulder, and the smile I was met with when she spun around to face me was equal to a six-year-old seeing a pony in person for the first time ever. Boy was I glad to be that pony, "Mae! Wha- hi!" Matty squeezed my hand as Helena looked him over like he was packing..at a park...full of children. "Holy shit," she covered her mouth as quickly as the words had left it. "Sorry- um..." I laughed at her and circled around, culling Matty down beside me on the dampened bench.

   "Helena, Matty. Matty, Helena." I clichéd an introduction between them, letting go of his hand to undo the harness Maisie had been sitting in awful patiently. Helena was wide-eyed, trying not to look at Matty too frequently, as not to make him uncomfortable—which at this point, he was already visibly so and there was really no point. "I can't believe you're real," she blurted out breathily. "Oh, sorry, I'm sorry, it's just-"

"She thought I was lying about you." I finished her thought and watched her grin sheepishly. Helena knew who Matty was, of course, but she always was a bit hesitant to believe me, as if Maisie's mess of curls and those honey-sweet eyes weren't proof enough. "And you haven't seen the family photos?" Matty chuckled, knowing all too well that I hadn't let her see them even though she'd asked on multiple occasions.

"Mae likes to be eerily private with me," Lena chimed back, "well, with everyone really. I don't think I've seen her open up to much of anyone, I'm lucky she even chooses to spend time with me every once in a while." Matty looked at me from the corner of his eye, "Lucky you, huh?" he smirked. "She's always been like that, I suppose, not much for oversharing."

   "She doesn't even under share, she just doesn't share at all." I nodded along until I was tired of hearing them chat shit and excused myself to go find Lena's son on the playground, Anthony was in the sand box of course, there's really not much for a toddler to do on a play structure.

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