VIII. Routine
Over the next two weeks, I fell into a steady pattern of habits. Upon waking up in the morning, I would wander out into the kitchen and help Galdwin prepare breakfast for the passengers. The air was warm because of the stoves fire that chased away the bite of the wind outside. We learned to work together, coexisting in the kitchen (The crew referred to it as the galley). I started to become familiar with where the dishes were as well as how to store the food properly. I no longer needed to ask Galdwin where to find the pots and pans, I could travel from cupboard to drawer almost seamlessly, knowing exactly where to find everything.
After breakfast, I went back to what was akin to a tool shed or a small workplace that lay between the kitchen and the doctor’s sick room. It had two work benches attached to either wall and a cupboard against the far (or rather, near) wall. The varnished would was smooth against my hand, making me wonder how long this ship had been in service. In that room, I took to sewing up any torn pieces of clothing, as per Galdwin’s request. When I first started, there were pants and shirts from the sailors everywhere. They had been tossed into the room and abandoned without any evidence of a second thought. It seemed that while I worked that there was one more thing coming in for every three holes I had managed to patch up. At times, it was a frustrating prospect, but the challenge was invigorating.
After a couple of days, the pile had become noticeably smaller. It was very satisfying to see that I was making some headway and I began then to work with more confidence. When anyone passed by, we would exchange smiles. Perhaps the crew enjoyed having someone doing their laundry for them.
Galdwin took to having me help the crew after dinner and on through supper as well. I would repeatedly help with meal preparations and help him clean up; the sight of a clean galley, never ceased to set a smile on his face. Perhaps he had never had enough hands to help him before, or perhaps the sight had always pleased him. I wondered about details like that, what impact I had on people and such. Some say that makes me mindful, but I disagree- there is no one I have met more mindful than Galdwin, who is meticulous in every detail of his day, making sure to take small steps towards mastery in every action. He is the epitome of success in my eye, and remains a source of eternal inspiration for me to this day.
The crew would then play games until nightfall, sitting in their bunkers with tables and overturned carts being used for shameless card games and teasing drinking games. Then, when most of the passengers had gone to bed, almost all of them came out on deck to sing soft songs, play music, and dance. Every few nights the musical instrument would change: sometimes we had a guitar, other times the accordion or fiddle, and sometimes their would simply be song. I knew almost none of the songs at the beginning of the voyage, but as time wore on the favorites of the crew became apparent; this songs would occasionally be sung multiple times in the same night. It seemed to me as if they knew an endless amount of phrasings. I would smile jovially when they would start singing to loud or dancing with a passionate enthusiasm. The nights where they forgot to be quiet were always the best.
Every so often, a few of the passengers would sit on the deck above us and watch. The glass of champagne in their hands would dance about like the fire reflecting off of it. They were like silhouettes against the reception room and I never knew what their expressions were, but they seemed to know that this was a time for the crew. When twilight crept upon them, the passengers respected that the crew would get their own fancy in light of trying to please them all day. The distance was of kindness and made for a good relationship between the two of them.
I would not necessarily say the same about the crew and myself. While it would be unfair to say that I was unaccepted by the crew, I certainly felt alienated. I do not think it was a feeling that they could have helped. They all seemed to know what to say, how to act, and who their friends were. I did not. I did not know east from west upon the sea, let alone who I could keep as a companion besides Galdwin- these people were strangers to me.
They had accepted me as if I was another part of their functioning organism, but I could still tell that they were not comfortable around me. Perhaps my feelings simply derived from the fact that I felt so beyond my boundary out here. I suppose it is a lot like having a new tooth growing in. You are not sure what to think of it yet and it is not necessarily comfortable, often times it is rather intrusive. You touching the tooth with your tongue or finger because your mind keeps telling you that it is not suppose to be there, even though you know that there is nothing to be done. You want to make sure that it is still there, question its existence at every opportunity and then sit, waiting until it feels natural. Well, I’m still trying to feel natural here. I stepped out of me zone of familiarity and confinement as soon as I breathed the air out on the street of my own home~ I had stepped into a world often remembered but hardly experienced. I am the new tooth, slowly coming in, trying to find the place that I belong among these people. Where do I fit in? How can I be a part of this fully functioning vessel when it was doing just fine without me?
I did not know.
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Alise
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