Promises [N.H]

7

It's not good to grieve, because then you'll look like me. A raccoon.

I've been laying in my bed for 3 days straight crying and crying and crying some more. But today, Thursday April 24, I decided that Lana wouldn't want me to cry, she would want me to continue with my life, and be happy that she's in a better place. So, that's what I'm doing.

Today I'm going to go see my sister, she's been calling me non-stop but over these last 3 days I didn't even get up to eat, I only got up to use the bathroom. I literally had no energy to do anything.

So here I am, in my car on my way to USC.

My thoughts drift to Niall, he's been trying to contact me, but you know, didn't have the energy, so I decide to call him back

"Hello" he answers on the 3rd ring

"Hey, sorry I haven't returned your calls or texts. I was going through something" I say, and my heartbreaks at the mention of Allana

"No, I understand. Just if you need someone to talk to, I'm here" He says

"Thanks Niall, but did you need something" I ask, curious to why he was texting and calling me

"I told you I'd text you" He chuckles

"Oh yea" I chuckle as I suddenly remember us getting frozen yogurt

"Well I have to go, I'm going to go hang with the guys, but I'll talk to you later OK?"

"Yea sure, Bye Ni"

"Oo, nicknames" We both chuckle at his statement

"Bye Kenn" He says before we hang up

At this time I had arrived at my sister's dorm.

This time I make sure to knock before I walk in.

Her roommate opens the door

"Hey Lauren" I say as I walk in

"Hey Kennedy" She smiles

"Your sister isn't here" She adds

"Oh where is she?" I ask, I thought she would be here

"I think she went to go check on your mom" She tells me

"Oh thanks" I say as I walk out the door

I decide to call Kourtney

"What the hell have you been?" She says as soon as she answers the phone

"Um I'm was going through something" I say

"You weren't going through shit, don't play that. I have been stuck with Katherine for a day and you have been just hanging out not answering your phone" She yells at me

"I haven't been hanging out. Don't attack me if you don't even know what happened. Allana died 3 days ago." I raise my voice at her

I hear her gasp

"I'm so sorry Ken, I didn't know" She says sincerely

"Yea, you didn't" I snap at her and then hang up

She tries to call me again but after what she just said I can't even with her right now.

The one day I try to be happy for Allana and have a good day, I get attacked by my sister. But that doesn't stop me from having a good day.

I decide to go out and treat myself to some Panera.

As I drive to Panera, one of my favorite songs starts to play, Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade.