Dirty Secrets

Or Whatever

I tried to contain my crazy-mess emotions until I reached the car, but soon, I bowed my head, focused on my feet, and wiped the flow of tears from my eyes.

"Jess! Jessica!"

I looked up to see Catalina Richardson waving from the sidewalk. Crap. Leo made me forget all about my best friend. I hadn't seen her in months, and she was home for a quick visit from New York. I blinked several times as Cat approached. She'd texted me earlier, saying she might stop by the beach.

Catalina folded me into a big hug. "Jess, are you all right? Why are you crying?"

I sniffled and squeezed back hot tears. "Sorry. I don't want him to see me like this if he walks up."

"Him? Him who? Why are you sorry? What's going on?"

"Shhh. Don't yell. I'll explain in a minute."

Catalina wore a confused look as I tugged her away and steeled myself for the onslaught of questions. Leo inspired a torrent of intense feelings for which I simply wasn't prepared. They had bubbled up so quickly, like the warm underground water of a Florida spring. These days, I was accustomed to anger, sadness, and guilt. Today's feelings were something different. Something I couldn't quite pin down.

We walked a few paces to Sunset Brew, a café about a block from the beach boardwalk. With a quick glance over my shoulder, I checked to see if Leo had followed. So far, he hadn't. But why would he? He hadn't been interested enough to contact me all those years ago.

Cat and I both ordered huge iced coffees, then sank onto a sofa in the back of the café. It was where we'd spent endless hours in high school. From this nook, we'd studied, talked about our crushes, and planned our futures. I'd spent months discussing Leo from this very seat. I took off my sunglasses, flinging them onto a sturdy wooden coffee table with scuff marks from feet on the edges.

"Who is it? Is it Shitface Von Assclown? It better not be." Catalina had never liked Jacob, my ex.

I shook my head. "No. It's not Jacob. It's Leo." I took a long sip of coffee. My eye twitched again. Never had I imagined I'd see him again. Especially not on Palmira.

"Huh? Leo? Leo who?" Catalina asked, eyes wide, shaking her head.

I sighed and side-eyed my friend, who was wearing a tiny black skirt and a black T-shirt with some video game logo on the front. Cat had weird, even geeky taste, the total opposite of my casual beach clothes. But Cat's style was always on point, and she was gorgeous in a sexy Goth way.

"What are you wearing?"

"Don't change the subject," Cat snapped. She'd picked up a slight New York accent in recent years. "Who the hell is Leo?"

"The owner of that new bakery where Daily Bread used to be. But he's Leo. My Leo."

She gasped. "Oh shit! The guy you lost your virginity to when we were in high school? The guy you thought—"

"Got me pregnant? Yep. Leo Villeneuve," I bit out.

"Holy crap, Jess. My mom told me the last name of the new bakery owner, but I didn't make the connection. Wow. Damn. Where was he from again? Not Florida, right? Amazing you'd just run into him like that on the beach. What did he say?"

"Nothing. Well...I left when he asked me out. I panicked. And I don't think it's amazing, I just think it's weird. Oh, and he was from New Orleans."

Catalina twisted in her seat, brow furrowed. "Okay, I understand you've been through a lot with Jacob and your mom and everything, but this isn't any reason to freak out and get all dramatic. He's here on business, right?"

"Yeah. But...he asked me out. I don't think I'm ready for some big reunion."

Catalina nodded slowly. "Can't blame you there. Jesus. You were inconsolable back then. You didn't talk to your mother for months. Susan was so pissed. I'd never seen her that pissed. I thought she was going to lock you in your room. But, ya know, she was right, looking back. What if you had been pregnant? What a nightmare that would've been."

I groaned. "Don't remind me. And now that Mom's gone, I feel even more like crap about that whole year." I paused and sniffled some more, thinking about the huge fights between me and Mom about Leo. If only I could have all that wasted time back.

"Why is he here now?" I whispered. "And why does he look so damn good?"

Catalina rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it's just business. You said he bought the bakery. Palmira's changing. It's not the retiree heaven it once was."

I shot her a sharp glance.

"Okay...well, maybe I'm wrong. Still. I can see why someone would want to open a business here. Lots of tourists," Catalina added quickly. "He looks good, huh?"

Too good. "He's beautiful. Super muscular. Almost hard to believe he was the first guy to...break my heart. I mean, I got over it, I guess. But I don't want to dredge up all that crap now."

"You two were kids." Catalina slurped her coffee. "Come on. You're a different person. I'm sure he's a totally different person too."

I nodded. I was being melodramatic, acting emotional and immature like my sister always claimed. "I'm sure I'll run into him again. Maybe I'll see if he wants to get coffee. I can't handle dinner, though. That would seem too much like a date. There might be expectations."

The thought of my naked body pressed against Leo's popped into my mind, and a little shudder of pleasure shot through my body. It was followed by a loud warning noise echoing through my brain. I didn't need a guy. Didn't want one. Especially not one who'd just up and disappeared after some of the best times of my life. And yet, damn, I was sure it would feel so amazing to be close to him again. Unlike—

Catalina shrugged. "So relax. Be friends. Or...whatever."

"It's the whatever that could be a problem."

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