The Art of Happiness

Pissed off & anxious

So I guess this is now more of a rant book than anything else.
I have so many feelings I need to get out - so here goes.
Warning!
I'm mad, and so angry right now. People who lie to your face, keep secrets and pretend to be your friend. People who say nice things to to your face and when you believe them and think those things are true, only to find out that all along they've been keeping secrets about things behind your back, talking about you, being bitchy. Everyone doesn't want to look you in the eye, they start to avoid you - well guess what you piece of shit - that's your guilt!!!! Then you try to make it about me!!! You lying, cheating, backstabbing piece of shit!! It's you're turn to feel miserable. Then you sulk and make people feel sorry for you because you're feeling guilty. Guess what you shouldn't have done what you did. I hate you so much right now. I hate that I believed you, I hate that it hurts so much. I hate that you can't see that I'm hurting, I'm not ok, and no it's not ok what you're doing. I believe in true friends and loyalty. I wish you cared as much as I do and valued our friendship as much as I do. I'm feeling so sad, when someone doesn't feel the same way you do, when they're not honest, when they string you along and expect you to wait until they've decided what they want. I have feelings too, the rejection, the pain, feeling I'm not good enough. I don't want you to have that power, I wish I didn't still live you and feel attached. I just want to speak to you again, feel your arms around me and hear you tell me you love me. I miss you and I wish everyday I could go back. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't still care. I bet you're not even thinking about me. You've moved on, it's like you never even cared. I hate that I still care - bring on indifference.