Fatty Diaries

help

Y'all so, i have a huge problem rn. I don't fucking know what I'm going to do and just literally I feel pissed and depressed.

Imma just start with everything that has been going on between me and my bestfriend and because I don't want to completely expose her imma just refer to her as Mulan or some name like that.

Note to Mulan, boo i hope you don't find this and I love you let's stop fighting please.

So when school started this summer, we were oriented and all that shit because we needed to meet our teachers. You get the idea.

And because mulan and I were seperated for ninth grade (we were previously in eighth) we had new teachers and everything and it was the most uneventful shit ever so imma skip that, except for that part where i met this super cute young gym teacher and he was really nice and I was like "damn, imma hit that if i had the chance."

It's been a while since mulan and I talked because of heavy school works and I got to build a proper friendship with that cute teacher and I was really happy about it. I mean, yeah i liked him but it doesn't really go further than that because I don't personally want to be with him.

And then for some reason when Mulan and I hungout again, when i was telling her about this cute teacher, she told me she found a cute teacher too and it went on like that for a long time.

She'll constantly tell me that she liked him so much and sometimes her sister and I would even ironically roll our eyes at her because she'd be swooning over his pictures on facebook.

I thought about our infatuation with teachers as an inside joke between our friendship.

Until i realized it wasn't a joke anymore.

Three weeks ago Mulan texted that she was beyond emotionally messed up and she needed my help as her friend and Of course i couldn't just ignore her so I asked her what was wrong.

She told me that she was heartbroken and that she loved the teacher she was telling me about. Like no kidding as in fucking love and I couldn't argue with that. She told me she knew the impossibility of whatever the hell she was doing because of obvious reasons and those were the reasons why she wanted to sob uncontrollably.

1. He was a teacher, she was a student.
2. She was fourteen years old and he was twenty seven.
3. The guy has a girlfriend.

And she sent me a picture of herself crying and I was like; "boo fucking tell me everything." And she did tell me everything. Starting from her saying, she needed me to comfort her, she needed me to understand her because no one else could. She said she was afraid of telling anyone even her sister because she said they were going to judge her and i wanted to help her of course.

And i did comfort her, I told her that i understood her because i did, i was a massive fuck up too and i should know better when talking to problematic people but earlier I think i screwed up. I didn't know what i said but i wanna fucking kill myself because she's not talking to me and idk i feel utterly messed up.

I don't even know why I'm writing this right now, I've begged her to talk to me and repeatedly spammed her with sorrys and she told me she was okay and that she didn't need me anymore and jfc I feel like shit.

Before that she wanted us to hangout and I told her I couldn't come because my mother and I were going somewhere important and she just said nevermind and didn't respond to me anymore. She keeps on saying she's not mad but I fucking know she is and idk what to do.