Bracelets, Beer, & Moonlight (COMPLETED)

C. Acceptance

"P'Arthit......Are you sleeping?......The question you asked me about...about me having any feelings for you... I don't understand what you meant...But if it bears the same meaning as mine....then I do have them....And I had those feelings since way before......"

His voice still resounded clearly in my ears as I went through the day. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it. What should I do? I can't possibly act normal. And here was what I feared the most; a direct confrontation with the guy who has been constantly on my mind all day, the guy who I didn't want to see, the guy that made my heart and life a mess. My heart sank as I saw his over-handsome face masked with sadness. His eye bags showed clearly that he didn't get any good sleep. Was it because of me? I don't really think so. I tried to act normal but the only thing that came out of my mouth was "Let go" in a fierce and mean voice. What was I doing? I was trying to act normal but I can't possibly do it right. He said he wanted to tell me something. I didn't want to hear it Kongpob, I mean it. If you confessed right there, what do you want me to do? It would be more awkward than it actually is right now. So please Kongpob, don't...seriously don't. I just ran away from him...again. Why do I keep running away? Getting confessed to is not that scary, but being confessed to by your junior and a guy junior on top of that, is scarier than you can think, especially when that same junior make you feel all kind of emotions.

And here my best friend Ai'Knott always gets everything so quick. He asked about Kongpob and me fighting again. Even if I denied it, he was always so sharp. Why are you sharp here Ai'Knott? I seriously don't want to have this discussion with you. How can I possibly tell you that this guy likes me and that I feel so confused right now. Would it be better if I let him confess and reject him right away? Why don't I want it? I got attached to this junior and rejecting him we will never be the same again. And yet I can't accept him. He is a guy.

"Why are you trying to get away from him?" Ai'Knott please stop rubbing salt on my wounds already. I don't know what to do.

I went to meet Namtarn at the café near the university and talking about her problems with Jay doesn't really make me hurt that much. I was in love with her; I used to be hurt when they were together. But why am I not feeling anything right now? Am I a rock? Why can't I feel anything? I should have taken this opportunity to comfort her and maybe she will come to me instead. But this thought didn't even come to my mind. The only person I have in my mind right now is that junior. When she asked about whether I was single or not, I tried to joke around by saying many people are dying to be with me. It made her laugh so it was okay. I didn't want to show my worries nor did I want to talk about it. It would be so weird if I say that a guy junior is courting me and I'm hesitating. Her friend was in love with one of my juniors and not surprisingly it was Kongpob. The faculty moon himself. Making a match making, that sound good. Maybe Kongpob will divert his feelings to that girl. But why do I feel a sting in heart that makes me so uncomfortable. And here I start blabbing everything I knew on Kongpob.

"He likes iced coffee...he is the type of person who wakes up really early...When he wakes up he drink soy milk and eat patongkoh....He likes to eat the same thing over and over again...He likes to eat food that are bland in flavour...He can't eat spicy food...He likes to eat egg omelette with ground pork or noodles with meatball in soup....He is such a prince.. He even burned his fried eggs, that's why he always buy it...He's very slow at dressing up and he is spot on from head to toe...He can't go anywhere alone; he always need to have someone with him...He always love to act as a hero; always protecting his friends in the hazing...He always get on my nerves...I used to be so fed up whenever I see his face..."