Shield - Steve Rogers/Captain America

Chapter 1

Lavender's Point of View

I was overwhelmed by a nostalgic feeling, as I remembered that I too soon be leaving my mum for university. It's all I ever wanted really, but I kind of felt like it was too soon, and right now, it didn't feel like the best idea.

I looked at the room, that I had been living in for the past few months. It was nothing close to bare, and honestly, I want everything with me for university. My walls are covered with various band posters, fairy lights hanging on every inch, an art shelf and many of my paintings hung up on the wall, drawings on the wall, my stickered guitar and my many childhood soft toys. I wish I could take anything with me.

The two gigantic suitcases were perched on top of my bed, empty. I opened my wardrobe and looked at the amount of clothes I have. Yes, I am from a high class family, but the only pair of heels I own were forced upon me because of a wedding. Other than that, yes, I do have an underestimated amount of VANS and Converse.

My wardrobe was full of no Gucci clothes and Louis Vuitton hand bags. No, that would be my mum's. I spent any money that my mum gave me for clothes on band merchandise, hence why half of my wardrobe is full of band shirts. I own around fifteen pairs of jeans but weirdly enough I'm really obsessed with one of them. I started taking sweaters off hangers, mostly black.

As I started throwing in clothes messily, it came to mind again how my mum kind of has to do some explaining to me. I think it's about time that I knew what is going on. Everyone around me thought I had no idea that something very wrong was going on in my family but I knew. And I wanted to find out. But, contrasting to what I've just said, I'm also kinda okay with not knowing what is going on. I think it would only cause more angst, and I have never been more laid back and at peace with myself. On the other hand, still some enlightenment wouldn't hurt.

I started coming across all my handmade band shirts and I felt a soft smile taking over my face. I had from Pink Floyd to Metallica. I contemplated against not taking them with me, but I decided against it. Who cares if I'm twenty.

A knock on the door was almost hushed by the indie rock compilation playing in the background.

"Come in," I said, staring at the mountains of papers on my desk, which I had no idea what to do with them.

"Honey, do you need some help?" I heard my mum's angelic voice say. I looked towards her and grinned, then, "Sure!"

She nodded and stared at the suitcase that I had started on. "Well, this is a mess," she said teasingly, at my uncanny packing manners. I laughed. Years ago, my mum had given up on me being responsible, and well, not messy.

"So, how have you been?" My mum said, refolding all the things I had thrown in, while I stared at my desk.

"Well you do know what happened last night," I said, not making eye contact. This desk will be the death of me.

"Yes, love, and I'm so sorry," she said, looking up. I met her eyes, they held concern but at the same time, she seemed pretty chill about everything, making me wonder what the hell she was planning.

"And honestly, I don't know how you're still letting me go to university," I said, crushing papers and getting rid of them.

"What do you mean? You are starting it this year Lavender," she said, her tone just a tiny bit bitter. "But, what if it happens again?" I said, turning my gaze towards her and placing my hands on my hips.

"Oh, don't worry. It was just a one time thing. It won't happen again," she said. Something was very wrong. I knew my mum well enough to know that right now, her tone was far from sincere. She was hiding something. And who would describe such an experience as one time thing? Not my mum!

"Mum, are you hiding something from me?" I said. My mood had just created a down falling loophole and all my positive talk was abandoning me as I started to shudder at not knowing what's going on with our luck nowadays.

"Lavender, darling, I am not going to say that I am not. But it is for your own good. Someday this week, you will find out, don't worry, but I believe I can't tell you," she said, her eyes dropping once again to what she was doing.

"That's not fair mum! You know I can't cope with anxiety!

This time, my mother got up from where she was sitting and walked towards me. Her hands embraced me, and she ran her hand through my hair.

"Lavender, don't worry. Everything is going to be okay. I've got it all under control, and it's not only on our hands. Tomorrow, nothing wrong will happen, it's a nice kind of surprise okay?" She murmured against my hair.

"Okay mum, I'm okay," I said after a few minutes of thought. I broke away from our hug, and faced the volcanic desk once again. I can't say I'm annoyed, but I decided to act like an adult and trust my mum. I think she knows what she's doing.

I wanted to ask more questions and pour all my worries that had started to form now, but I fought against it. And I managed to force my mind off the subject.

My plane for Harvard University is due tomorrow afternoon, and yes, it is a late wakening to pack everything now. Thankfully, my mum had taken care of all the big things already, all is left is the clothes, shoes and decorations, which is still considered saying a lot.

-

Two suitcases, six indie compilations, five mugs of tea, three shots of vodka and five hours later, I was done with the packing. It is near midnight right now, and my mum had decided to call it a day about two hours ago.

Mental note: Never pack for university the night before.

I stumbled into the shower and started washing, including my hair. I wanted to be squeaky clean for tomorrow.

To say I am excited is an understatement. I cannot wait to see who my roommate will be. In the letter I got a few weeks ago, it stated that it's a male, and if I was okay with that. I sent back a letter saying that I was, because honestly, I just wanted to have to perfect university experience, specifically like the ones in the movies, minus the bitchy trio.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me. I dried up and put on some shorts and an oversized t-shirt, drying my hair naturally with the hair dryer.

The flight tomorrow was going to be long, so before I packed, I decided on wearing sweats, all black VANS, a Tumblr slogan shirt, and an army style jean jacket.

All I could think of as I settled in my bed was, who will be my roommate, will someone attempt to rape me again, will my mum be okay without me, and if I will have a boyfriend.

Never did I know, that my life was about the take a wild rollercoaster jolt, downhill.

 okay first chapter is up, i will try to update next monday, only if someone of you decides to comment, steve will be present in the next chapter so if you're here for that, vote and comment. 

➳ comment for steve, and a dedication

cause i'm a mean girl. 

and no, she's not going to be depressed.