Saving skies

Chapter 9

We walk along in silence down to the flat. I want to say something to break the tension but I can’t find words.

We almost kissed.

I almost kissed Bryce, the guy that hates me. Well, hated me I guess. I don’t even know. He is so closed up. Every time he tells me something, it’s like two more secrets become known as secrets and I’m just waiting to un-wrap them.

I don’t know what to think of him.

And just then, he was so nice to me. And we had a proper conversation, a conversation that could’ve lasted forever.

It seems that everything he tells me about himself entices me. I can’t get enough of the words he says. I’m lost in his conversation.

And we almost kissed. I don’t know what to think about that. Because I wanted to kiss him, so badly. I don’t know what he wants to do. Did he really want to kiss me back? He looked disappointed when we didn’t kiss, but how can I be sure? I’ve seen how many girls he can bring home, and I know what he does. I’m sure he just wanted to use me like all the other girls.

Eventually, we do make it back home and I stop in the entrance to look at Bryce.

“Thankyou” I tell him, but he doesn’t look me in the eye.

“Yep” he mumbles and walks away from me.

I sigh, and walk back to the couch, which, coincidently isn’t as comfy as it used to be comparing it to Bryce’s bed last night.

It was warm and cosy in his bed. It smelled like Bryce. I felt so protected with him arms wrapped around me…

Anna, stop!

He didn’t even say goodnight! He’s mad at me again, I know it. I didn’t even do anything. And I know that tomorrow morning he won’t look at me and will walk straight past me. Not to mention tomorrow is Friday and he will probably go to the bar.

I desperately try to push him out of my mind and let sleep take over me. But he keeps fighting for space in my mind.

 

I don’t have work today, which means I can clean up the mess that has collected over the one day I was away working. I was right about Bryce ignoring me again. Oh yeah, sorry obviously doesn’t mean he is sorry. He has completely shut me off.

Nick has already asked me if I want to go to the bar tonight, but I politely refused with the excuse I have to work early tomorrow. So I was right, Nick and Bryce are both going to the pub tonight.

The day went by quickly, I scrubbed the house down and went for a run, past the park that Bryce took me too last night. I imagined us sitting up on top of the slide, with our legs hanging over the edge, talking about where we want to travel.

Trying to drown the thought out of my head, I turned the music up and ran faster until I was around the corner and completely out of sight of the park.

Both the boys came home before going out. Neither said that much when they got back, they just got changed and left.

I, on the other hand, set up a movie night for myself. Starting with The notebook, and ending with Pride and Prejudice. I managed to pass the time quickly, dreaming about Ryan Gosling and Mr Darcy. What it would be like to have someone like that come along and sweep me off my feet.

I also ate two blocks of chocolate and a bowl of popcorn. But I was by myself, so no one could judge me for it.

I really need to make some girl friends around here. I still barely know anyone. The next party I go to, I need to actually make an effort to meet people.

Actually, I haven’t heard from anyone in Melbourne for a while. Really, I don’t mind. I didn’t make the best ties at school, and I haven’t made any effort to call anyone. It’s probably easier like that, if there are no ties in Melbourne than Jane and Tony won’t be able to find me.

Actually, they have probably moved on now. They might even have another poor foster child, who will soon be looking for an escape. I don’t understand how they haven’t been reported yet. When they are involved, the child gets no parental care. Just parental insanity.

They never hit me, or I would have said something straight away. They verbally abused me, I guess, and generally didn’t give a crap about me.

Them not giving a crap about me made me not care about the rest of the world. Which was really my downfall.

My attention turns to the screen where Mr Darcy confesses his love to Miss Elizabeth for the first time, the time she rejects him. I imagine what it would be like for me, standing out in the pouring rain, listening to someone tell you that they love you.

I didn’t bring any of my books from the foster home with me. I’ll have to find a library and buy some of them again.

Pride and Prejudice has always been my insomnia book. If I can’t sleep, or something was bothering me, I could just pick it up and flick to a page where it would relax and calm me down.

I begin quoting the movie as it plays, stuffing my face with popcorn as the scene plays out.

My attention is diverted to the front door when I hear drunken voices on the front step. There are sounds of someone fumbling with keys, and trying to unlock the door. After a great amount of effort two figures stumble through the door, giggling and laughing like little kids.

I curl up on the couch, trying to make myself as inconspicuous as possible, and try and chew the mouthful of popcorn as quietly as I can.

When the two figures walk into the light I can see that it’s Bryce, with a girl by his side.

She is wearing stiletto heels and a skirt that is way too short to be a skirt, rather being a piece of material vaguely covering her bits. She has long blonde hair and is wearing layers upon layers of makeup, which make it difficult to distinguish her real features.

She is hanging off Bryce’s arm like a puppet, and he begins to lead the way to his bedroom.

When he sees me hiding in the couch, he stares at me for a few seconds and I hold his gaze. Arsehole. I think to myself. When he realises that he’s staring at me, he looks down and back up to my face, before winking at me and continuing to walk down the hallway with Barbie by his side.

Holy shit.

Bryce is back to his old habits.

I curl up in a ball and contemplate this. Does that mean he doesn’t like me at all? Then what the hell was last night? What was making me scream on top of the slide for? I mean, he made it seem like he cared about me, trying to get me to release my anger and all. And then we talked, I mean, we really talked.

And what about the almost kiss? Would that have been meaningless today?

I carry all these thoughts with me as I finish my movie, and slowly fall asleep.