Never Enough

7

I sat in the front seat of Xander's fancy Mercedes. The warm leather interior and heated seats wrapped around me.

How could she? After all this time.

I scoffed, my dad was everything to me. There was nothing more important than making him proud and making sure that he was/is happy.

My hand wrapped around Xander's resting on the center consul. My eyes wanted him as the driver smoothly around town.

I had called him after the talk, I had sat in my room clutching my cream throw pillow and cried for about half hour Drowning myself in pity.

I had debated for about ten minutes on weather or not I should call him but ended up doing so anyway.

He didn't ask questions. I liked that. Nor he never made me feel pressured to talk or do anything.

I just got in and he drove.

Somewhere along the ride our hands met. Not a word or movement about it.

I stared blankly at his face. His define and sculpted cheekbones and jawline.

He was beautiful. A god send.

Ella's brother. 

I pulled my focus from him and stayed out the window. Watching as the trees pass.

"I was just a baby when she left. For the first time. Said she wasn't cut out for raising a baby at nineteen. That I could understand. The last thing I would want would be is to get knocked up and raise a kid so young." I let that linger in the air.

His rough yet gentle thumb thumb over my tiny hand. Letting me know he was listening.

"When I was six,she came back. Foolishly enough my father welcomes her back with open arms. He has always wanted a big family. But he ended up getting stuck with one. Me." I smile at the memories of my  dad playing with six year old me.

"She stayed for six years, her and I never being able to connect or agree on anything. Then one day I walked on her. Having an affair. Dad was at a conference for work. I had to walk home two and a half miles at twelve years old. I never got along with her so I naturally called my dad and told him. He thought I was being jealous that I wasn't the only girl in his life." I swallowed.

I placed my other hand on top of his. Tracing circles and shaped on it as he slightly gripped mine.

"I was punished for telling the truth. Not by dad. By her. She has beaten me to the point where I couldn't walk." Anger filled me, thinking back to that day.

"Dad had called her. Telling her to ground me, not beat me." His hands tightened around mine. I saw his jaw clenched from the side of my eye.

"So came back as soon as her could. That is after the school had called him and let him know I had missed a couple of days. The day he came to the house I remember hearing stomping. He has always been way too heavy footed. I remember sitting in my room, hearing a series of screaming and things breaking. He kicked her out later that night. Comes to find out the fucker she was cheating with was a sexual offender."

His knuckles started to turn white as they gripped the steering wheel. I continued to trace random this on his hands.

"She had known and let the damn guy hang around the same house her twelve year old daughter." I paused feeling the same anger twelve year old me felt.

"My dad found out and went insane. He beat the guy to a pulp. Then got a restraining order just in case the freak wanted to come after me. He constantly apologizes still till this day about it. In a way I don't blame him ya know? All he wanted was to be happy. I wanted him happy. Shortly after I turned about fifteen he started drowning himself in work. We haven't heard anything from Linda since." I spat her name.