Him

Chapter 6

On Jackson’s birthday I had always brought a bouquet of flowers to his grave. Since I had forgotten...which I didn’t want to acknowledge I decided to take some flowers today...two days after.
Maybe I shouldn’t lie...I came to his headstone every birthday but also every Friday...it use to be the day of date night. And it was pretty silly that it still remaine one of my reasons to see him or feel closer to him but this was it...my life.
I pulled up to the cemetery and took up the bouquet of flowers from the passenger seat and exited the car.
For some reason I always took a deep breath before reaching his grave-
“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I ran over as I saw a man stooped in front of the grave holding something in his hand.
He didn’t move.
I hit him with the flowers, “Hey! I’m talking to you! What the hell are you-?”
He turned to look at me, surprised for a brief second, then stoop up...holding a cup of coffee in his hands.
“I’m sorry.”
“I thought you were one of those sick people who desecrated graves.” I looked down at my husband’s headstone.
“Excuse me for a minute,” I said to the stranger so I could place the flowers at the headstone. He walked some feet a way to give me space.
I stooped down.
“I’m sorry about the flowers baby...and I’m sorry that I didn’t come yesterday. I promise I won’t forget next time Jack. I love you.” I whispered then fixed the flowers and cast aside the old one.
I stood up to face the stranger again but he was gone.

What the hell just happened?

My phone vibrated in my pocket. My sister was calling.
“Hey Jan, I totally forgot about lunch today I’m really sorry.”
“Its okay Sis, um where are you now? We could grab dinner.”
Oh crap, I didn’t want her to ask.

“Um at the cemetery...” I waited for her response while closing my eyes.
“Alana...”
“Its not like that anymore I promise, its just for his birthday...I promise. And about dinner, raincheck? I am not really in the mood for anything but a snack.”
“Adri I know this documentary is letting you relive and recount you life with Jackson so I am worried...You’re at the cemetery again, you don’t want to eat...you’ve been crying...”
I sighed.
“I know, I know but honestly I am not visiting like I used to. I have been crying yes...okay...I’m gonna cook something at home with Jj.”
“Promise?”
“Yes, I promise,” I smiled, “And I love you bye.”
“Love you too.” Then I hung up.
I looked back at Jackson’s grave then walked over to it and stooped.
“Your son is turning into quite the gentleman lately, having his first girl crush and all. Trust me babe, you’re missing out,” I smiled at his headstone as if it were him. “Well I have to go, Janae’s orders,” I crossed my finger and laughed. “I love you baby.”
I patted the headstone then walked away to my car.

"Mommm why didn’t you come get me? I saw you pull up like five minutes ago.” Jackson walked into the living room.
“Maybe I wanted some me time, you leech.” I looked at him.
“Ha ha funny, I’m serious Mom. Tahj has the runs and  he couldn’t play games so I had to listen to his parents go on and on about the ‘old days’.” Jackson slumped down in the sofa opposite mine.
I smiled at him, “I’m sorry baby. Come get a kiss from Mommy...” I winked at him.
“Mommmm.”
I laughed, “Just kidding, so what do you want for dinner?” I got up and started walking to the kitchen.
“Chicken, cheese, bologna sandwich...?” he ran into the kitchen after me and sat at the counter.
“That sounds like dinner to you?” I stared at him.
“How about that kiss Mommy?” He grinned.
“Gimme,” I leaned across the counter and pointed to my cheek. “And make it more than a second, like you mean it boy.”
I laughed as he kissed me and sat back on the stool.
“So you will have to eat four slices of bread so you’re full and so that if Auntie Janae asks you had dinner and not lunch.”
“And you will eat ten so you’re full,” he added.
"Am I some kind of greedy pig?" I stared at him.
He giggled, "Six?
“Fair enough. Come assistant chef, lay out the bread for meh.”

Later that night, because it was the last night of his stay with me for the weekend, he asked me if he could sleep in my bed tonight. I pretended like I was asleep so he would hug me until he fell asleep. In his words he was becoming a man now, and so he didn’t show me as much affection as I wanted. But whenever he thought I or anyone else wasn’t noticing, he would be my baby boy all over again.

The next day I brought him over to Mom and spent the day, both she and Janae made sure I ate dinner this time.
Being around my family made me forgot most of what was going sometimes and just as much it makes me happy in those moment for a little while.
                                ***

It was now Friday again, the start of another weekend. Jackson wanted to come over but I told him not this week-end.
I was thinking really hard about some stuff lately. Like should I really do this documentary? I thought this was the way forward to help out my family and revive my career but nothing felt right anymore. It felt like I was missing out more and more on the little things that mattered the most.
My thoughts stopped as I pulled up to the cemetery gate once again to see what looked like the figure of the man from the last time.
I took up the single white rose I had brought and stepped out of my car, closing the door behind me.
I walked over to him and again he didn’t reply at first when I spoke as if he was in some deep concentration of some sort with my husband’s headstone.
I cleared my throat loudly then watched as he stood up quickly.
“I am sorry I didn’t see you there,” He looked at me. “I- I am sorry if I offended you last time by standing at this grave.”
“I was-.”
He turned his attention from me to the headstone, looking at it as if trying to remember something.
“I don’t know why I get the feeling I have seen this name before, was he your husband?”
I nodded. What was he thinking?
“And what was this title for? The army?”
“Yes, b-.” Before I could continue he started talking again.
“Have we met before? I mean before the last time you saw me here,” He asked.
I looked him over. He was wearing a black dress pants, a black shirt and a black jacket. He even wore a hat. He looked thin and somewhat like he had just recovered from the flu.
“I know you somehow even your husband I guess, seeing his name makes me feel like I know him.”
“Are you here to kill me? Is this some kind of trap or plot or anything?”
He didn’t even smile, “No. I promise I won’t hurt you or your husband’s grave.”
He was very serious.
“O…k.”
“Are you afraid of me?”
“We’re in a cemetery…”
“Now that I’ve seen your face clearly I just know I’ve met you somewhere and that name on that headstone is just so familiar. I know you but I don’t know how.”
I held my head, “You know this is confusing right.”
“Yes but its what I feel, Alana.”
“What did you just call me?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to. I just remember your face with that name I didn’t know it wasn’t.” He looked at me with sorrow filled eyes.
“It is my name.”
“You are Alana?”
“Yes wh-,” I stopped speaking when he turned away from me.
“I’m leaving.”
And that was it, he just walked away just like that, again.
I must admit I have seen my fair share of weird, but this right here was a whole new level of the word.