Only My Lunatic Fringe

Chapter 38: Guilt.

Kat's POV

"Pass me the tissues." I say with a deep voice due to my death threatening cold.

"You're just over exaggerating! I was almost dead, you just have a cold." Sasha says with a scratchy voice trying to get the words out. 

She throws the tissues at me and tries to laugh, but fails miserably and only gets a strained wheeze out.

Sasha, Seth and I are in the hospital. Only, Sasha and I wanted to share a room.

Seth and I only have a worsening flu, while Sasha has hypothermia, bronchitis and a whole lot of stuff I can't even pronounce.

"When will you be back at work?" I ask her and blow my nose.

"I don't know, yet, but definitely after New Year, you?" She says and then wraps the fuzzy blanket around her.

"I am supposed to take a month off to recover, but then I have to relinquish my title and that is not an option, so I am going back in two weeks." I say and adjust my ponytail.

Sasha looks at me with a frown and then she sighs and takes my hand.

"Just don't overdo it." She says and smiles.

"I won't, promise." I reply with a smile.

"What about her?" Sasha whispers.

I cringe and squeeze Sasha's hand. "We don't have to talk about this now..."

"No Kat, I want to know. No one is telling me what happened to the bitch who kidnapped me, so please, tell me." Sasha manages to croak out.

I sigh and rub my forehead. "They found her body in the ocean." I say in a flat voice.

"What are you not telling me?" Sasha whispers.

"I saw her, Sasha." I manage to get out before letting go of her hand.

"Who?" She asks with a frown.

"Faye. Before Seth jumped in after me, I saw Faye trying to stay afloat." I softly utter and stand up.

"Oh my God." Sasha breathes out.

"Seth, he asked me to save her, but I didn't tell him that I saw her. I should've saved her. Regardless of what she done, Faye is still a human." I say and cry.

"Kat...it is okay. She tried to hurt me. She wanted to hurt Kathy, you had every reason to-" Sasha says.

"No! That is not an excuse!" I try to shout, but fail miserably due to my throat. I run out of the room, but collide with Seth.

"Kat!" Sasha yells after me, but I push past Seth and run down the hospital passage.

When I get outside on a balcony, I let go and completely break down. The sobs rake through me while I clutch the railing on the balcony.

Faye was a person, regardless of what she had done. I had to save her.

I am a bad person.

I killed her.

I am a bad person.

I killed her.

I deserve to die...

I put my barefoot on the ledge of the railing and steady my balance. I step on the higher level and then I am on the top.

I look down and see the road, cars, the busy city. In the distance, I can see the police station.