Break the chains

Chapter 2

The canteen was the typical place. Dinner ladies serving junk until Fridays, when they served chips and pizza. The seventh graders sat on the bigger tables, pushing in the lines and obviously getting away with it. The eighth graders talking about boyfriends and ninth graders upwards sitting, surrounded by boys holding their hands. Michel wasn't in the canteen that day because he normally goes to town to get his meals. Don't blame him. The walls were supposed to be painted with fruit and vegetables but people already graffiti them, putting wrong bits on the pears and swear words around all of the fruits. They said that they will repaint it but we've 'ever got round to it' because it's 'too expensive'. My school needs help. I didn’t even realise everyone was staring at me until the new girl; Ogugua waved her hand in front of her face. 

"Hey!" she giggled. “Are you going to get something to eat or are you gona sit there all day?" I snapped out of my trance and put back my plastic smile on, following her to the lunch line.  

"So," she said as we sat down. "How are you?" 

"Look I don’t want emotional support. I’m fine how I am ok?" I didn’t want to sound rude but I was sick of people doing that. I used to go to counselling but I never told them anything because they were too nosey and I’m really sick of people just wanting to find my life. I've told too many people my life and no one else needs to know. The ones I told just played with my heart and my feelings so I just stopped trying that. 

"I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was just asking how you are." she said calmly. 

"I'm fine, you?" I replied nicely, trying to make up for what I said. 

"Good. What are you doing tonight?" 

"Me? I'm just chilling." I lied. "You know homework and all." 

"Mmm. How about your studies? How are they?"  (Typical Nigerian saying)

"Erm. Got full marks in drama and English." those were my favourite subjects. 

"I remember when I used to do drama. I failed really badly. My subjects are science and maths" total geek. "Now, about that freedom thing." I wanted to run.  

"How did you know about that? About me?" 

"Ha ha don't worry. I aint psychic don’t worry. I'm just saying that you don’t have to fight voices in your head all the time. You don't have to wake up with thoughts of the past killing you present and future. Don't let him get to you."  

"What do you mean?" I hesitated. This girl's scaring me!  

"Michel girl. He's a...Part of them. Your problems" 

"He's fine." I growled. 

"Not really. He's a weapon that they formed to ruin your life don't let him at you. Just do something you won’t regret later." then she dropped this book on the table and walked away. "See you tomorrow."  

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

 

 

I got home and flung my bag on my bed then it spoke. 

 

 

 

"Come here. Now!" It was that voice again. I heaved my legs up and let him bound me, the chains hard and scratchy. He dragged me along to where he was going and forced me down.

"Look and listen *****, you are useless and I am your master. You can only do what I say understood?"

"On the first time when you nearly knocked me flat." I grumbled.

"SHUT UP!"  He boomed. "I have no time for insolence! You know that no one is going to save you, seeing Jesus rejected you when you 'fell' so now you have no choice."

"I have all the choice it's just..." I hung my head in shame. I knew I should have accepted Jesus again but I seemed to blame everything on him because of what they did to me.  They were all his 'children' so why did he let them do that to me?

"That’s right girl you're powerless so listen up."  He didn't let me finish and added, "So, you listen to me. Go to this party girl and do what he says, make sure any thing he asks is done withought fail. You love him and need him only.  However, before you go to this party you need to do this one thing and that is to Kill Ogu." 

"No." I hesitated. "I won’t do it." I got up to fight him but my chains pulled me to the floor. He spat on me and kicked me. 

"I don’t think that would be a good idea," he crooned. "For your own health and safety and benefit."  Three times I tried to touch him but I fell to the ground on each go. He picked me up by the hair and pulled me close to his face until I could taste the blood of his voice. He began to speak but I didn't hear what he said, my mind clanging like a bell. If I had Jesus I would be so happier- No. I still haven’t gotten over what his 'children' did.  

"What do you want with me?" I cried. “Can’t you just leave me in peace?"

"A slave has no peace." wit that a whole load of them came up, like out of a foggy mist. These creatures were even uglier than the other ones, they had so many deformed places and there scaly body had knives painted down their backs. Their eyes could roll out of their many heads and their heads were soaked in boils and cuts. I recognised them. My past. Every time I did something wrong a new one will be made. Someone in church said that God has washed sins so I don’t see why these ones were still here. There routine was to harass me which I should be used to by now but they had a new torture every day so harassment is now torture. 'No one want you.' they would call. 'You’re a sinner.' No matter how much I fought, I couldn't fight them.  The darkness was thick and I couldn't breathe let alone cry but my tears were so uncontrollable. 'Leave me be!' I screamed. 'I'll do it sir just please let them off me!' 

"Very well." he cackled. "We’ll see you in the morning."  They didn't mean morning. They meant later but I had no strength to argue.  

 

I woke up screaming and panting as I called to mom but she had gone out for the night and I was on my own as my brother was at work by now.  I looked at the window and tried to open it but mom locks them for the night and won't let me at the key. I went to the kitchen and saw a group of knives. I picked one up and felt it down, its sharp edges sliding down. Before I was thinking, my hand was painted with a line of blood. I put it to my leg and then let it run along my thigh. Sigh. Tights again today. Slash! My left thigh was struck. Slash, my right arm was struck. This is for what you've done Jesus! 

"I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!" I screamed. "I’m HERE, NEARLY BLEEDING AND YOU AND YOUR STUPID CHILDREN ARE THERE ENJOYING THEMSELVES. YOU WON'T PUNISH THEM BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM DONT YOU! WELL THEN DON'T EXPECT ME NEAR YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE THEM SORRY. IF YOU'RE WATCHING ME THEN I HOPE ITS A GOOD SHOW!" bitterly, I flung the knife and it hit the window. However, instead of smashing it rebounded off, towards me. I stood there, hoping it hit me but it just flew over my head and back to the knife holder. How cool! No, I don't want cool I want to die. I grabbed the knife again and brought it to my chest.

"This is the end of this sorrow......" I whispered. "You'll be free soon"