Its midnight and I am tired. I am so tired. Tired of the way that things have been, tired of the ways that I have to force myself out of bed in the morning, tired of the ways I have to force myself to sleep at night. Im tired of being alone.
But the thing is, Im not alone, every second, you are there beside me, there behind me. You are always there. You're there at the store where I buy my food, you are there at the park where I run, you are there at the train station where I get on for work. Not remembering that I stole from the store, not remembering that I ran from my life at the park, not remembering that I tried to throw myself in front of the train at the station.
I sit in the park every night. Looking at the stars. Wishing that I could float away into space where I am nothing, I am nothing. I wish I could float away, disappear, combust because the meteors in my head are big. They are big and they bump and scratch at my mind until I cant take it anymore and I let go I just have to let go.go.go. Nobody notices.
You are always there but you can't see, you can't take to time to notice that I don't want to be here, that I don't like it here. You don't notice that the meteor shower in my head forces me awake and forces me asleep but its always saying stop
I am so tired. I am so tired of being alone. Tired of being alone with you. You force the meteors in my head and choose to ignore my pain and my suffering, you choose to ignore everything that isn't what you want. You make me tired.
