FOREVER

Messenger

Messenger

I slept last night, which was a surprise. That didn't mean that I slept well, however. I knew that I had a lot of dreams and that most of them were nightmares. However, every time I woke up in the night, covered in sweat and my throat dry, whatever it was that had frightened me was gone from my memory. That, and my neck was aching all night. I laid in bed for two hours, feeling the pain and the pulsing in my neck and wondering if when I woke up I would be a vampire. The thought should have terrified me but it didn't. Alice didn't like to talk about transformations much and as a result I didn't really know what it pertained. Maybe it was just this: a dull pain and when you woke up you were a vampire. It was a nice thought, but something told me that it wasn't that easy. Alice had mentioned venom a few times, and that was what had to be causing the pain. Maybe it wasn't enough to change me. Maybe it just hurt like hell to piss me off. That seemed like a vampire-y thing to do.

Even though I woke up early, I decided to lie in bed. I didn't really feel like doing anything. Waiting for Alice or any of the Cullens seemed like a better idea than doing anything else. Charlie hadn't bothered me all morning either. Probably because it was the weekend. I was grateful for that. I didn't really like this feeling. It was like dread and heartache and hope. And the hope part was annoying me because it made me feel like a loser. I was hoping that Alice wouldn't be mad and hoping that the Cullen's wouldn't leave and hoping that Jacob wasn't going to do anything stupid and I just felt way too much like a Disney movie. Lazily, I looked out the window. It didn't look as cold as it was yesterday and it didn't look like any new snow had fallen. Standing up for the first time this morning I headed over and looked out the window. The snow was in fact, melting. So much for that. A part of me had been hoping that we would get enough snow to cancel school. Fat chance of that now. I sighed heavily, pursing my lips together so that they made a funny noise and headed to my closet. I pulled on my favorite shirt that still smelled just a bit like Alice and some new jeans. Still feeling a bit cold, I headed over to my bed and swiped the comforter off of it, wrapping it around my shoulders. Completely mummified in my comforter, I awkwardly fell back on the bed. I'd never wanted someone as desperately as I wanted Alice to be here now. Was this pathetic, or was this love? I didn't know. I just knew that the comforter held her scent like a prized perfume and I inhaled deeply, convincing myself that those weren't tears in my eyes.

And then there was a tap on my window. I literally felt my heart clench as my eyes raced to the window. A vampire was standing on the tree outside, waiting for me. It wasn't the one I wanted, however. In fact, it was probably the last one on the list that I wanted to see. Rosalie's reflection glared back at her from the window and she raised a brow impatiently at me. I swallowed, feeling fear enter me as I unwrapped myself from the comforter. She appeared to get more impatient with each step and by the time I'd actually reached the window I was jogging. I unlatched the window and opened it, stepping back so that she could come in. However, she didn't move. Instead, she crouched on the tree limb she was standing on and extended a long arm out towards me. Her beautiful hand unfolded and one long finger reached out, curling and beckoning me towards her. Now here was the fear I was supposed to be feeling in the presence of a vampire.

She was sent here to kill me. I knew it. The family had probably decided on it. I knew too much and had seen too much. And of course Rosalie was the one that would be more than happy to do the job. My body began to tremble and I couldn't look away from her golden eyes. She appeared to be amused, although her face was stoic and she watched my legs as I stepped back to the window. The chill of the morning hit me, but not as hard as her glare and I swallowed hard, feeling like my heart would palpitate out of my chest. When I finally reached the window, I placed my hands on the sill to steady myself, exhaling into the wind. Rosalie closed her eyes at that and I noticed her chest rising and falling slowly. When she finally looked up at me again, her face was just maybe a hair softer than before. Or I was saying that for my own peace of mind.